Ugh. I hate being painted into a corner. I've been put in the position of either being a selfish, uncaring bitch who ignores a friend who may be spiraling into a suicidal depression ... or ... biting my tongue until I sever it so I can play along with someone's irritating evolution into a self-absorbed, emotional, whiny, attention whore.
I can't win. When I distance myself from the situation and get a little peace of mind, this person goes to our friends and complains that we're ignoring him. When I talk to him and try to establish boundaries, he ignores them completely. He expects me to tolerate his extreme mood swings ... and pouts when I tell him I want no part of it.
The pattern is that he contacts me by writing about something completely innocuous. "Did you hear they're bringing back Supernatural for one more season?" That slowly evolves into, "I didn't get to watch the new episode of Being Human last night because I was having dinner with T-Gear and the kids."
He's been told (by more than one person) that I don't want to talk about T-Gear ... and yet he insists on bringing her up ... constantly. Last weekend he went on this tear about how he was so depressed. He just knew that T-Gear was about to break up with him. He missed his wife. He couldn't stop crying. He was having panic attacks. He couldn't get out of bed.
I didn't pull any punches. I told him to knock it off ... that he does this shit all the time. He swears life is horrible and not worth living ... and then she calls and suddenly he's farting rainbows and his piss is made of Vanilla Sprite.
Oh it's different this time, he assured me. It's practically over with her. He swore he couldn't stop thinking about his deceased wife and that he was going to go to a psychitrist because "all our friends" were concerned about him and texting each other. Odd ... no one was texting me about his mental state ... but considering he's told people that I'm ignoring him now? Maybe they were. I suppose it's possible.
Today was yet another cherry on a shit sundae that is brimming with shit. I'm sick of being asked my opinion on a situation ... when he has never once followed my advice.
"No, your wife has been dead a month.
You need time to grieve."
"Hey, guess what?? I joined a dating website!"
"Do you think I should date a girl who lives
3 hours away and has eight cats?"
"No. I think you should find someone closer
who preferably has far, far less cats.""
Hey, guess what?? I'm in love with this girl!
She's THE ONE! AND she brought me a cat!"
"Do you think I should break up with this girl?
I need more attention than what she's giving me!"
"No, I think you need to slow your roll.
Calm DOWN and enjoy dating."
"Hey, guess what?? I joined a SECOND dating site ...
AND I'm in a love with a woman ...
who has THREE KIDS!"
Enough already. Just enough. He's asked me about every bad decision he's made in the last six months ... and whatever I've suggested, he's done the opposite. At this point, I should just start suggesting really fucked up random shit on the off chance that he'll start acting normal.
Shave your head. That would look cool!
Hey, know what you should do??
Try crack. I bet crack is awesome!
This weekend a bunch of us went to dinner and the guys started joking about going to Las Vegas ala the Hangover while the women went scrapbooking. The guys were joking about who would be the one stuck on the roof ... and this friend said, "I'd probably be the one with the Tyson face tat."
Yes ... yes, you would. I know you're joking ... but you would. Because right now you are doing the most illogical fucked-up shit in the world ... and then sitting there baffled when things don't pan out the way you planned. You dumped a divorced woman with no children because she didn't give you enough attention ... to date a woman with three children ... and you are confused as to why she doesn't give you enough attention!!
Seriously. I feel like Forrest fucking Gump over here. I am not a smart man, Jen-nay ... but I know a woman with three children will not be flourishing you with around-the-clock attention. You will not be the center of her universe. Ever. You couldn't see her because the kids have games? NO fucking shit. You couldn't see her because the kids were sick? NO fucking shit.
I'm losing my tolerance for the never ending drama. He wants to pull my friend out and dangle her ... look at me I'm grieving and I'm just so sad ... but only when his girlfriend isn't answering his texts promptly enough.
What has caused this foot-stamping, temper tantrum of a blog post?
He wrote me today to tell me that he hadn't turned off his profile on the dating site and a girl contacted him. He wanted to contact this girl back ... but didn't know if he should.
I'm just ... there aren't any words. How would HE feel if he found out T-Gear hadn't turned off her profile and was contacting men on the dating site? Pretty fucking horrible, right? Oh wait, didn't he say T-Gear has trust issues and isn't making fast enough with the hoo hoo because her husband cheated on her. And he's thinking of? What again? Oh right ...
You know what ... I have my own issues with this bullshit. And I'm not taking more blood pressure medicine just so I don't have a rage stroke from listening to him. Best friends talk. I know things I honestly wish I didn't know about his marriage ... and I can't help it ... it colors every word that comes out of him.
Disconnecting for my own mental health ... in three ... two ...
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder
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