Friday, March 25, 2005

Better Than Marbles

Better Than Marbles

1. What kind of toothpaste do you use? - Crest Vanilla Mint Whitening Expressions. It's the best. I tried their cinnamon flavor ... thinking I'd absolutely love it ... but it was like squirting liquid Big Red Gum into my mouth ... as you can imagine, it was pretty repulsive.

2. Do you take vitamins? - At the moment, I'm taking Viactiv vitamin chews ... which, contrary to their advertising, are neither great tasting nor packed with vitamins. As much as I used to complain about having to swallow horse pills, I think I'll go back to Centrum.

3. Which over-the-counter drug can't you live without? - Midol. Let me say it again ... Midol. One more time ... with feeling ... MIDOL! Ten years ago, I would've said NyQuil ... but ... well ... that's another story ...

4. What kind of soap do you have in your shower? - As boring as it sounds, Ivory Soap. Let me explain ... I really want to be as soft as a Dove girl ... or to be "Zestfully Clean" ... and hell, I'd love to smell fresh as an Irish spring! However, just about anything but Ivory makes me break out in a rash that would give the CDC in Atlanta the heebie-jeebies. Which leads me to believe that Ivory really is 99 and 44/100ths percent pure love ... er ... or was that just a Ronnie Milsap song? Nevermind ...

5. What is the most unusual item in your medicine cabinet? - Oh sweet Jesus ... my medicine cabinet is the most twisted concoction of pills, creams, and gadgets that you could imagine. I've got two or three Spinbrushes ... all of which are dead. I've got one of those new flossing devices that looks like an instrument of torture. And, most mysterious of all, a strange bottle of hand lotion made from hemp that I think I picked up at a health fair somewhere. Take your pick ...

Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up, just like bad medicine
There ain't no doctor that can
Cure my disease

Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine