Procrastination

Although it may seem as though I've dropped off the face of the planet, I'm still around. Things are stressful ... life is a balancing act ... and sometimes just the thought of writing in a blog seems like an insurmountable task. It probably sounds odd, but before this last episode with my dad, I never realized that writing about personal, emotional topics could be so draining. And, if you're already running on empty, sometimes you need to conserve every drop of energy you've got.

So, my dad hadn't been released from the hospital three hours before he had his first "incident". He badgered mom into taking him out to dinner. Let's be clear on this ... that one act alone was an unbelievably unwise thing to do. But I know my Dad ... and so I completely understand why she agreed and so off they went to a small, local steakhouse.

Well, after eating low-fat, low-sodium, heart-smart meals at the hospital for two weeks, his body didn't react well. He'd barely started on his entree before getting sick and vomiting in the bathroom. Mom was beside herself and immediately took him home.

Friday, I'm taking off work to drive them both down to Barnes Hospital in St. Louis. We're meeting with a heart failure specialist who is also a member of the heart transplant team. This is a big meeting ... and, quite frankly, his only hope. It wears on me. This is going to be a long, hard journey ... and, after last night's incident, I'm afraid we're already off on the wrong foot.