Friday, September 14, 2007

My Newest Guilty Pleasure ...


My god! What's happened to me?

So, about ten days ago, I came down with acute bronchitis. Because of the PKD, my immune system is weak ... and I'm used to getting every little bug and sniffle that comes along. But boy, this one has really kicked my ass. But that's not really unexpected ...

What's unexpected is how much I love the Dr. Phil Show. What the hell is up with that? Oh yeah, I'm sure the prescription cough syrup has a little to do with it ... but still!

I remember a couple years ago when Dr. Phil came out with a weight loss program ... I don't know how many posts I wrote that involved the words "Dr. Phil" and the words "lard ass." I thought he was a money-hungry hypocrite. But that was before I saw Man Camp ...

I don't know. Maybe shows like that make us feel better about ourselves? Maybe it's voyeurism? Maybe it's just the Tussionex ...

Cause yesterday
I turned on the tube
And some bald headed dude
Started telling me what to do
And I swear
I don't need your pills
Just give me some cable
And let me watch Dr. Phil
I need Dr. Phil

Bob Ricci - Dr. Phil

6 comments:

  1. Mini Twin5:29 PM

    Okay....maybe I'm coming down with something too, because I see a Muppet version of Dr. Phil in that picture..

    ~Mini Twin

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  2. Oh, thank GOD! You see it too? I thought it was just the Tussionex ...

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  3. Mmmmmm....Tussionex, that sweet butterscotch-y elixir.I have kind of a reverse prescription drug addict's problem with Tussionex. It's so good, I won't use it. I keep thinking I'll have a really, REALLY terrible cough and need it. I think the bottle I have is expired by 4 years, but I love knowing it's in there.

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  4. OMIGOD, Nancy ... here's the part of the story that I left out of the original post ...

    When I first started getting sick, they prescribed me Cheratussin ... which is just cough syrup with codine. It did nothing. I would take it and still cough until I choked.

    So, when I went back in five days later, they called in Tussionex instead. I went home, took a dose of it ... and slipped into a coma for 16 hours. I literally went to sleep and couldn't communicate for nearly 16 hours.

    Mr. ThirtyWhat asked me to call in and find out what was wrong. He was worried it was just too strong for me ...

    At which point I learned a very valuable lesson. A teaspoon is very different than a tablespoon. A teaspoon of Tussionex will relax your muscles and stop the cough. A tablespoon of Tussionex will put you into a haze that would make NyQuil go, "DAMN!"

    I think I'm going to put the bottle in a safe deposit box. It's far too powerful for mortal man ...

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  5. nancy9:18 AM

    Holy Crap, Thirty! Tussionex is a feisty little syrup that SHANT be misdosed! My God, I'm glad you woke up at all!!! Even the correct dose puts me into such a heavenly (but fogless) place, I can't imagine tripling that.

    It must be fairly safe, however, b/c I was first prescribed it when I got bronchitis while pregnant. I remember feeling so happy to be buzzed after 8 1/2 months with no beer.

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  6. LOL ... I didn't realize it was prescribed to pregnant women. That kind of puts my mind at ease ... it must be really safe if they'd give it to you when you're that far along.

    Well, according to the nurse, you're not supposed to exceed two teaspoons in a 24 hour period. One tablespoon equals three teaspoons ... which, I suppose, means I overshot the 24 hour rule.

    Isn't that a great word? Spoon? Say it a couple times ... spooooooon. Nevermind ... the things you think ...

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