Friday, May 16, 2008

Doritos New Demon Flavored Chips ...


On Friday mornings, this creepy dude comes and fills our office vending machines ... and, like good little lemmings, we all run over to see what the next week's offerings will be. Today we had a few new choices ... and for one brief moment that I suspect I will regret all day ... I lost my sanity and tried something new:

"Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili"

The emphasis should be on spicy ... not sweet. Spicy. I believe I've lost 25% of my tongue ... as the tip of it is burning uncontrollably. I've drank water, Mountain Dew, and Pedialyte ... don't ask ... someone at work offered me a small, cherry-flavored bottle and I was desparate ... and nothing is helping.

For the love of God ... what did they make these with ... sulfuric acid? I believe I'm losing the power of speech ...

Burn out the day
Burn out the night
I can't see no reason to put up a fight
I'm living for giving the devil his due
And I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you
I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you

Blue Oyster Cult - I'm Burning For You

5 comments:

  1. My deskmates and I always enjoy seeing what new snacks are made available to us.

    Popular right now are some unknown brand's "Jalapeño y Lime" kettle-cooked potato chips.

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  2. That's so cool ... I'm glad to know we're not the only office who look forward to the re-stocking of the vending machine.

    It's an odd balance of the reliable favorites (like Crunchy Cheetos ... God help us if we run out of those little bags of Cheetos) ... and new snacks.

    Last week I think the new items were banana flavored Twinkies and some kind of beef stick thingy. OH ... and he's started bringing Andy Capp cheese fries? I haven't tried those ... but some people were SO happy they showed up.

    Andy Capp? Wasn't that the little drunk comic guy? He has potato snacks? How bizzare is THAT?

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  3. PS - My mouth feels better now ... I have no fucking clue WHY I would've even tried those Doritos. I don't LIKE hot, spicy food. I guess I thought because it said "Sweet" that it would offset the spicy? It didn't ...

    But I CAN talk again ... and my sinuses are completely clean ...

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  4. Our company essentially runs the vending machine operation. Things are cheaper that way (no profit) but there is little change in what is put into the machines. We can make requests but with no opportunity to try new things, not much changes.

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  5. I don't know who the guy is who comes and fills our machines ... but he isn't with our agency.

    Several years ago, we had to move into temporary quarters while our office was being remodeled. So, since we didn't have any vending machines, we took over the job of getting sodas and snacks and such.

    Like you said, it's cheaper (much) ... but first, noboby wanted the job of going and buying this stuff ... and second, it got repetitive having the same stuff over and over and over.

    I'm more than happy to put up with creepy guy ... as long as we get to try new stuff each week.

    Oh, but I've learned my lesson ... nothing with the word "spicy" on the package ... or ... pictures of flames ... LOL

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