Sunday, March 07, 2010

Less Curiouser Than Previously Expected ...

I wanted to love it. I really, really did. But Tim Burton's newest creation, Alice in Wonderland, is such a disappointment. The problem is the story itself ... I'm not sure what he was thinking. Alice in Wonderland is a rich, lush story with more than enough content to fill a 109 minute movie. So why ignore all of that and create a sub-par story of your own? It's called fan fiction, Tim ... and I can read it for free instead of paying $15 for two Sunday matinee tickets.

For me, the experience of watching Alice in Wonderland was like collecting bubblegum cards ... individual characters were stunning ... but when strung together, they don't make a fluid, cogent story. Johnny Depp as Mad Hatter? Visually breathtaking ... but honestly? He's called mad hatter for a reason. Unless someone has been slipping Prozak into his tea in the years since Alice's first visit, he wasn't remotely mad enough.

Meanwhile, Helena Bonham Carter as The Queen of Hearts wasn't nearly evil enough. Allow me to make a comparison ... do you remember the original Disney animated Alice in Wonderland? It gave me nightmares ... nightmares so bad, I didn't watch the complete movie until I was well into my 30's. Between the animated queen screaming, "Off with their heads!" and that damned Cheshire Cat fading in and out ... shudder. So you would think a live-action version of that movie would send me into an apoplectic fit, wouldn't you? Nope ... not even remotely close.

So sad ... I expected so much more. It's beautiful ... but beauty really is only skin deep ... and that's not nearly enough to carry this movie.

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell them a hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

Jefferson Airplane - Go Ask Alice

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