Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Here ... Have A Cookie ...

Wow ... I'm not to the point of going on a rampage ... although I'd say we came close.  I do have a pet peeve for today ...

There's a woman who works in the basement that I rarely speak with.   I'd say in the big scheme of things, she falls somewhere between "dislike" and "loathe" ... but I make an effort not to be openly hostile to her.   She's just ... irritating.   She's one of those people that comes sweeping into the room and sucks every ounce of oxygen out of it.   She's always in the middle of some big drama and it wears on me.

Plus ... she's about my height and weighs maybe 105 pounds ... and yet every time I see her, she's having this conversation ...

"Hey, aren't you proud of me???  I lost four pounds this month so far ...
only sixteen to go before I reach my goal!"

Your goal of what?  Being able to slide through sewer grates?  Jesus Christ, eat a cheeseburger, woman ... you're giving the Olson twins self esteem issues!  Ugh ... I would never dislike someone just because they're skinny ... any more than I would want them to dislike me just because I'm heavy.  But for the love of God, people ... be reasonable.

In any case ... this morning I'm tired and worn down because I didn't get much sleep last night.   I'm having a discussion with my good friend and co-worker, Karen, when this albatross of a woman comes to my office door and says, with her usual aplomb, "I am so hungry this morning ... but I already ate my grapes for breakfast!  What is wrong with me?!"

I'm not sure what gave it away ... if my eye twitched or if I raised my eyebrow ... but Karen knew that bad, bad shit was about to happen.  I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of, "You have got to be fucking kidding me, right?!"  .... and Karen put her arm around the woman's shoulders and said, "Let's get you out of here ..."

You know, I love my friends ... they laugh with me ... they make me smile ... and most importantly ... they keep me from committing homicide ...

Awake from dusk to dawn
Watchin' the city lights
Stars are shinin down
They'll be shinin down on you and I
And when morning comes
And I'll hold you till the mornin light
Everybody sing it now
Up all night
Sleep all day
Up all night
Sleep all day
That's right

Slaughter - Up All Night