Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Song of Silk and Dysentery ...

Have you read the Game of Thrones series?  If you haven't, unclench your butt.  I promise, no spoilers ...

I read the books years ago ... but, since I now have eight hours a day to kill, I've been re-listening to them on Audible.   Unless you've read the books, it's hard to emphasize how frustrating they are.  There are entire chapters that, for all practical purposes, could be entire pages that read:

Words words words words.  Words words words;
words words words words words.  Words!  Words
words words words words.

Anything having to do with the Iron Islands is painful.  If I have to hear about the "Drowned God" one more time I might have to kill myself.   Cerci chapters are the best ... followed closely by Tyrion.  Jamie's chapters are pretty fun.  By book four, Jon Snow and Arya aren't as interesting as they used to be.  Most disappointing, book Daenerys isn't nearly as entertaining as TV Daenerys .

What struck me today is how bi-polar GRR Martin's world is. 

At certain points, you can't help thinking how wonderful it would be to live in Westeros.   Who wouldn't want to dress like Cerci?  All the descriptions of the ornate silk gowns ... sleeping under warm furs ... cloaks covered in soft velvets.  And food?  These books are chock full of food porn ... roast pork with crispy skin and warm bread with melted butter and sweet honey and creamy soups.  It's ridiculous how good some of these people eat.

But then, a few paragraphs later, you find graphic descriptions of wounds and rotting flesh ... casual mention of people emptying chamber pots out of windows onto the peasants below ... and everybody and their brother has a severed head from their horse or on a spike by their front door.

And the names!   High borns have beautiful names ... Sansa .. Ayra ... Marjorie ... Catelyn.   But everybody else has horrible, descriptive names ... like "One Tooth" ... or "Shit Mouth" ... or "Bloody Stump."  I don't want to live in a world where I work with Shit Mouth.

I'm going to keep going ... because I'm OCD like that.   But if I have to read another ten pargraphs describing the minute details of the banner of every person attending the kingsmoot ... and then turn the page to find a graphic description of dysentery?   I'm going to start fast forwarding ...

A bear there was
A bear, a bear
All black and brown
And covered with hair

The Bear and The Maiden Fair

1 comment:

  1. I am in the middle of the third book. Feels like I have been reading it for about a year now...lol! My main problem is trying to keep track of who's who. George R. R. Martin is certainly loquacious, isn't he? The Jon Snow and Theon Greyjoy chapters are the most boring for me. I'd like to see an all Hodor chapter :)