I am depressed. And puzzled.
So I haven't had much of an appetite for the last couple weeks. I know ... no big loss. The best thing in the world that could happen is for me to lose my appetite for about a year. But ... I digress ...
I haven't had much of an appetite since I came down sick after the DBT concert. I've forced myself to stop and get breakfast most mornings, but only because I discovered that taking levaquin on an empty stomach is a terrible, terrible thing to do.
I haven't had lunch in two weeks. Dinner is usually a little bit of whatever I normally have ... a little pasta one night ... a taco the next. The night I took some Gabatoni's pizza to Stoney's was the most I'd eaten in days.
In any case ... fast forward to this weekend. I made my favorite rice. Normally I don't even like rice ... but this stuff is the bomb. So I made it yesterday ... thinking how wonderful it would be to have comfort food. I didn't even make any meat ... just the rice. But it tasted ... off. Burnt? I don't know ... it just wasn't awesome. It made my throat feel raw when I ate it, although I know that sounds bizarre. I thought maybe I cooked it too long. Or maybe the can of beef broth I used had been old?
Fast forward to tonight. I made a couple thin pork chops ... nothing special ... just coated them in oven fry and fifteen minutes later I had a crispy little pork chop. I heated up some nibblets in butter sauce ... and I thought ... for a simple, no-work meal, this should be pretty tasty, right?
Wrong. The pork chop hurt my throat ... it burned going down. Not "too hot from the oven" ... just ... a burned, raw feeling. It hit me that this was the same feeling I had eating my rice. Ugh. Two comfort meals that I didn't even finish.
I am depressed. I love food ... as you can tell from my ample ass. And to have nothing taste good? Well ... wait ... that's not true. Stoney made us grilled cheese for lunch today ... and it was really good. No kidding ... I only ate half but it was buttery and so delicious. So what was the difference? The cheese? The butter? I honestly don't know. I can't have him make every meal I eat ... hell, he doesn't feel any better that I do right now.
So ... I've given up. I put the leftovers in a Tupperware container for work tomorrow. Maybe by tomorrow it will be better. In the meantime, I can thank my guardian angel (who must be Richard Simmons in disguise) for helping me eat less. Better living through illness? As long as it hurts to eat, I guess I'll ride this train.
And mars, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts
Nazareth - Love Hurts