When things were starting to get serious with Stoney, my mom sat me down and said she wanted to give me some advice. I was convinced it was going to be some kind of awkward, painful discussion of my failed marriage ... it's breakdown ... and warnings of getting too close to Stoney or any man for that matter.
Silly me. What was I thinking? She loves him.
No ... Mom sat me down and told me that, for the first time, I was dating a sports fan. And not just a regular sports fan ... a real sports fan ... someone who loved sports. She told me that I had to remember that sports were a part of him ... part of the person I fell in love with. She told me not to get frustrated or feel neglected when he wanted to watch the game and not be interrupted. She told me to always stay independent enough that I could entertainment myself.
I told her not to worry ... after being with someone who had no hobbies, I loved that Stoney was a sports fan. I loved that he has friends and I loved that the guys came over to watch games with him. I told her I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself ... but if a Sunday came and I was bored or lonely, she'd be the first person I called to do lunch or go to the casino.
Fast forward a year or so.
I'm living with Stoney for the most part ... and I've spent most of the 2014 football season at his house. I've been here when the guys come over ... been here when his team won ... been here when they lost. I don't think there's been any shocking discoveries. I can't tell you, "Oh, my God ... I never expected such and such!" Most of the time, I hang out in the bedroom binge watching Netflix or leave for awhile and run errands.
Today ... today was something special though. He's a Cowboys fan ... and they played in their first playoffs game today. He was super excited for the game ... and, once again, I gave him space. I laid on the bed and watched most of last season's America's Worst Cook on the Food Network. But I was on the same floor as him ... so I could hear his reactions to the game.
"Are you kidding me?!"
"FALL DOWN ON IT! FALL DOWN ON IT!!"
"GODDAMIT ... seriously?!"
I'm not sure why someone would love something that stresses them out so much! In the end, the Cowboys won ... and I even went out and sat in the living room and watched the last five minutes or so of the game with him. He's happy ... deliriously happy ... relieved ... almost exhausted just from the stress of watching the Cowboys fighting from behind for most of the game.
So I'm not supposed to jinx anything by talking about it ... but if ... you know ... if they make it to the game on February 1st? Yeah ... I think I'll be driving up North.
Don't let 'em pick guitars and drive them old trucks
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Willie Nelson - Mamma Don't Let
Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys
Boy. This wipes out all kinds of preconceived notions I had about your mother. What a great thing for her to reach out to you about. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha ... my mom is this really odd combination of feminist, "be independent" and old-school "let a man be a man." The best piece of marital advice she ever gave me went something like this ...
Delete"Oh, he's not listening to you, huh? Being quiet? Not talking enough? Well, is he hitting you? Does he drink? Take drugs? Does he work? Okay then ... do you want to be a lesbian? No? Well, then shut up. Because everything you're complaining about? That's a man. You want someone to sit around and gossip with? Date a woman."
I really did go into it expect this terrible conversation ... and it ended up her giving me this practical advice about not feeling neglected on Sundays. She's pretty awesome.