Friday, September 16, 2005

Slipping Away ...

So, I had this strange, troubling dream last night. It was evening ... kind of a dusky dark ... but not completely black. In the dream, I was dying ... but I don't know what was wrong with me. (my ex-husband) was there ... my mom was there. Nobody was talking about death ... but I knew they were there because I was so sick.

And in the dream I thought, "So this is it? It's gonna happen?" and I was looking around. (my ex-husband) was holding my hand and my Mom kept saying, "It's alright." I couldn't talk for whatever reason and I thought, "Will there be anything after I'm gone?"

Then I felt myself slipping away. It's like watching yourself fall asleep and being drawn upwards. It was peaceful but so very, very sad.

I woke up because the alarm was going off ... and I've spent the day moody and melancholy. I've never had a dream even remotely like this ... knowing that it was the end and that sensation of pulling away ...

Normally, I love to sleep. In fact, my bed is probably my favorite spot in the house.   But tonight ... well, I think I'll try to stay up awhile ...

When you close your eyes and go to sleep
And it's down to the sound of a heartbeat
I can hear the things that you're dreaming about
When you open up your heart and the truth comes out

Romantics - Talking in Your Sleep

Additional Note: - Woah. Wanna hear something bizzare? The same night I had this dream, (my ex-husband) dreampt that I died of an athsma attack. At least I'm still here ... but I'm driving a little more cautiously ... and keeping my inhaler a little closer!