Friday, September 09, 2005

Hallelujah - Almighty Dollar

So, I'm utterly exhausted and I smell like smoke. Where have I been, you ask? Mom and two of her friends went up to the riverboat last night and they invited me along.  So off I went to the Sin City of the Midwest.

They say that video poker is the crack of the gambling industry. Is it true? Not even close. The penny/nickel video game slots are hands-down the most addictive gambling machine known to man.

Have you seen them? There's a million variations ... but my favorites are Money Storm, The Price is Right, and Larry the Lobster. All of them have special bonus rounds and scatter pay symbols. Supposedly those type of machines sport the worst odds of any game of chance around ... and, considering how I did last night, I believe it's the truth.

It was an enjoyable trip for the most part ... but the sad truth is that gambling isn't fun unless you're winning. You can't guarantee that you're going to win ... in fact, the odds are stacked against you from the moment you park your car and walk in those doors.

I brought back what I took ... and my Mom considers that "winning." To me, it just means I just spun my wheels for hours and never made any progress. I guess it's better than going in the hole. The problem with gambling is that in order to make big money, you have to be willing to spend big money ... and people like me will never get rich playing those nickel "Money Storm" machines.

Now I lay, I lay me down to sleep
Almighty dollar
I praise the Lord, afford my roll to keep
Almighty dollar

Extreme - Money (In God We Trust)