Thursday, June 22, 2006

Guilty Pleasures

(my ex-husband) and I are polar opposites when it comes to entertainment. He would be content if Insight only offered three channels: PBS, CNN, and MSNBC. His tastes are refined. He enjoys shows like Nova, Frontline, Countdown, and Larry King. Frankly, it's amazing that he puts up with me. Because the moment he's not looking, I grab the remote and turn to the worst television imaginable.

If I'm not watching Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry televise their upcoming divorce on VH1's My Fair Brady, I'm gaping in wonder at the disfunctional families on ABC's Wife Swap. I've spent hours watching people build fires, raise flags, and run through obstacle courses over and over just so I could hear Jeff Probst utter those four little words, "The tribe has spoken."

It's a nasty habit, I know. But every time I try to break the habit, I see an ad for a new season of The Surreal Life and I'm sucked right back in. I'm like an addict ... secretly adding a season pass for Anna Nicole's train wreck to our Tivo ... and watching it before anyone else gets home.

It's June ... and that means another one of my favorite guilty pleasures is about to make it's annual appearance. That's right ... Big Brother is back. This year it's an All Star season ... and we get to vote on which contestants should be allowed into the house. I am practically giddy with anticipation!

I am telling you this right now people ... if "Cowboy" ends up back in that house, I am going to personally come to each and every person's house who voted for him ... and kick their ass. You want Jace? He's an asshat ... but that's alright. Go ahead and vote for him. You want Allison? I'd rather have root canal than watch her ... but that's still okay. Go ahead and vote for her. But I swear to God, if "Cowboy" ends up on my television screen three nights a week, someone is going to pay.

And my heart is sinking like the setting sun
Setting on the things I wish I'd done
Its time to say goodbye to yesterday
This is where the cowboy rides away

George Strait - This Is Where The Cowboy Rides Away