Sunday, July 23, 2006

Crazy From The Heat ...

I was surprised to see David Lee Roth on this morning's Breakfast With The Arts on A&E.  Surprise turned to shock as I watched him perform "Jump" with a bluegrass band.

"The first angel sounded,
and there followed hail,
and fire mingled with blood,
and they were cast upon the earth:
and the third part of the trees were burnt up,
and all green grass was burnt up.
and then "Jump" became a
bluegrass song.

Apparently Diamond Dave has an album coming out called "Strumming With The Devil." Someone shoot me now. This is like a bad Vegas act ... no, it's not even that. It's like watching some loser in a Howard Johnson's lounge who thinks he's clever. It's painful ... and the guys in the band behind him know it. Each musician looks like he was slipped a cocktail of Lithium and Benadryl right before stepping on stage.

Remember the classic guitar solo in Jump? It's now performed by a banjo. Now let me stop for a moment and explain that my iPod is full of "banjo songs" ... East Bound and Down, Sweet City Women, The Rainbow Connection. I'm an open minded individual. But this ... this is a nightmare.

Dave has a philosophy that revolves around the belief that singing a sad song in a happy way will make any song hip. He sounds sincere as he says it ... however, he also sounds suspiciously like the result of an unholy union between Kasey Kasem and a Buddhist monk.

Jamie's Crying? With a dulcimer? I'm in hell.

The worst part of this interview is Dave himself. He has that typical ear to ear grin. But underneath it is this ... panic. This desperation. It says, "Like me again ... you used to like me."

I have no idea why Eddie Van Halen approved this musical mistake of catastrophic proportions. Maybe Dave got Ed to sign the paperwork while coming out of anesthesia from his latest hip replacement? Just thinking about it boggles the mind.

He also beats the dead horse by insisting that someday Van Halen will reunite. He says it's inevitable ... and then inexplicably quips, "Paging Eddie Van Winkle ... let's get it on."

Please bear with me a moment while I use my blog to send a personal message to David Lee Roth: "Dave ... Dave ... if you truly want Van Halen to reunite, perhaps you should take the first baby step by not referring to Ed as "Eddie Van Winkle."

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict that Adolph will be strapping on ice skates in hell before we hear Hot For Teacher live again.

Yesterday was such an easy game for you to play
Ah, but then lets face it, things are easier today
Yes you need some bringing down
Get your feet back on the ground
Where have all the good times gone

The Kinks - Where Have All The Good Times Gone

July 26, 2006 - Update - (my ex-husband) hates it when people refer to songs by their remakes ... for instance if someone said Blinded By The Light was by Manfred Mann ... when it was really written and recorded by Bruce Springsteen years before.

Therefore, I totally understand where Dan of Blogfree Springfield is coming from ... in 1965, Ray Davies wrote Where Have All The Good Times Gone and recorded it with the Kinks. 17 years later, Van Halen performed a remake of that song on their Diver Down album.

Good catch, Dan! I've updated my post above ... and, hey, I'm even listening to the original as I type. Good times ... good times.