Thursday, July 13, 2006

Oh No! There Goes Tokyo ...

I like to think I'm an open minded person. I'm not going to go searching for big foot ... nor do I believe I have an alien implant in the back of my head. However, like a mouse in a maze, I believe there's a possibility that there are things we can't imagine outside our perception of the world.

That being said ... sometimes you just have to shake your head in wonder at what people will buy into.

I subscribe to Coast to Coast radio's Streamlink program. While I don't stay up until the wee hours of the morning listening to every nut case who claims to have seen mothman ... I do check out the list of previous shows and download the ones that aren't way out there.

For instance, the last four I downloaded were "Counterfeit Catholics," "Debunking 911 Conspiracies," "Taxes and the Erosion of Freedom," and "Popes and the Antichrist." Okay ... the last one is a little out there ... but I do steer away from ones like "Inside An Alien Autopsy."

In any case, I'm scanning the list of titles to see if any of this week's fare sounds somewhat coherent ... and I see a story entitled, "The Monster Detectives: On The Trail Of The Ninki-Nanka." Now who wouldn't click on that link? Ninki-Nanka? Common ... you know you would.

Come to find out, it's another story about cryptozoology. For those of you unfamiliar ... let me explain:

"Cryptozoology is the study of animals that are rumored or suspected to exist, but for which conclusive proof is still missing; the term also includes the study of animals generally considered extinct, but which are still occasionally reported."

Forget Nessie. They've got bigger fish to fry. Here are three of the "Most Wanted Creatures" from the Coast to Coast article:

Orang-Pendek - Taking its name from the Indonesian for "short person", this erect primate is believed to be the "most probable" cryptid. The 1.5-metre biped has been seen and documented in the remote forests of Sumatra for at least 100 years by tribespeople, local villagers, Dutch colonists, and Western scientists and travelers.

Ninki-Nanka - A horned marsh-dwelling beast from Gambia. Frightened locals claim that the creature is 9m long with the body of a crocodile, the neck of a giraffe, the head of horse with three horns, one right in the middle of its head. Cryptozoologists believe it to be a formidable reptile.

Mongolian Death Worm - This is a vermiform or worm-like, desert-dwelling creature said to spit a corrosive yellow venom, and held in much fear by the Mongolian nomads who know it by the name of allghoi-khorkoi (pronounced "olra hoy-hoy"). The creatures is possibly a reddish-brown snake. Reports suggest it emerges after rainfall and lives near sources of water.

Like I said ... I'm open minded. But I have a hard time believing that there's a creature anywhere on this Earth with the body of a crocodile, the neck of a giraffe, the head of horse with three horns, one right in the middle of its head.

Then again, what do I know. Years ago I had my ex-boyfriend pegged as a "walking ass" ... so maybe we should alert the cryptozoologists about him.

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting high tension wires down
Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them
He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town
Oh no, they say he's got to go go go Godzilla
Oh no, there goes Tokyo go go Godzilla

Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla


  1. Chupacabra!

    I maintain that Coast to Coast stays on the air, not for the handful of people who actually believe in UFOs, Bigfoot, Nessie, and ehem...government controlled weather - but for the hundreds of thousands who tune in to hear how crazy people are getting. It is comedy gold.

  2. There was a sci-fi movie channel original a few months back called "Chupacabra!" I had to laugh.

    You've hit the nail on the head ... I don't think most of us are tuning in to get "news" ... we're tuning in to hear what kind of insanity is going to be revealed next.

    The other day, I listed to an episode called "Counterfeit Catholics." Basically they interviewed a cleric who believes that the Catholic Church has strayed ... and that nothing since Vatican II is valid.

    The interview itself was pretty dry. The entertainment came when they opened up the phone lines. Good lord! One guy called in raving that the cleric had no right to define who was going to heaven ... because he was the second coming of Jesus and only he could decide who was getting in.

    Lord ... I hope these people are taking their meds ...

  3. Oh man, I love the cryptozoology weirdos. A few years ago I was about to lose a job, and we all had a running competition of sorts to see who could find the weirdest stuff online. The cryptozoology stuff was always a fan favorite. The stuff is so unbelievable.

    Plus, what a nice dis you worked into the end of that post.