Saturday, August 19, 2006

Update: Yard Work


I went outside and spent about an hour pulling weeds out of the fence line. What the hell is that stuff? It's viney with green pods ... it wound itself all up through the chain link fence ... and there were these nasty tiny yellow bugs all over 'em. Ugh!

For some reason, I thought that stuff was called "milkweed" ... but after looking online, the crap that's winding itself up through my fence looks nothing like milkweed.

After an hour, I had two chain link sections completely cleaned out ... and the rest trimmed down. Once I actually got into the thick of things, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Don't get me wrong ... weed-wise, it was a mess. But if it weren't for those damned bees, I might've gotten that entire fence line cleaned out.

I hate bees. I know what you're thinking, "Well, ThirtyWhat, who doesn't?"

No, you don't understand ... I hate bees ... to the point it's almost a phobia. Let me put it to you this way ... if I ever went on Fear Factor, the first thing they'd do is put my ass in a tank full of bees.

So ... for want of a beekeeper's suit, the fence is still weedy. I've read bees "sleep" at night ... so I may have to go out tonight around dusk and see if I can get the last of the weeds pulled out. Wish me luck ... cause if I get stung I'm gonna be the biggest baby in Central Illinois.

We take our orders given by the queen
We're not the killers, we're the worker bees
If you resist us you will feel our sting
Surrender now before the swarm sets in

Billy Talent - Worker Bees

7 comments:

  1. Nick, that guy who is afraid of bugs,12:43 PM

    Im not a big fan of insects in general. They reduce me to a screaming little girl. Its a funny site seeing a 6'2" 200lbs man run screaming from a bug. Not a big fan of them at all. Part of it has to do with this story...

    Growing up we lived out in the country in about 6 achers of land. We had a two and half car grage filled with junk (never cars, of course, who puts cars in a grage). One summer severa wasps nests appeared in the rafters of the garage, and one above the door way (the people door, not the car door). Well, my step dad thought it a bright idea to spray the nest with gas. He did this several times, yet the residents of the nest above the door kept comming back. Turns out that some of them had become immune to the gasoline and, weren't comming back, the never died. So, one day I get the bright idea to soke the nest in gas, knock it down, kick it out the door, and set it on fire. Surely the wasps couldn't surrvive being burned right? So I got out the gas, sprayed down the nest, hit it with a big stick and set it a blaze with a propate tourch. This angered the wasps that happen to be in there at the time (go figure) and they decided to fly out of the nest and chase me ON FIRE! Yes, the wasps were on fire, flying, not a fun thing. And one managed to sting me (but it didn't burn me thank god).

    So yeah, that scard me. Being chased by flying wasps that are on fire is not a fun thing.

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  2. That's gotta be the funniest thing I've heard in days. Wasps on fire? Who woulda guessed?

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  3. OMG! I'm losing it over Nick's story. Being chased by a swarm of wasps on fire - what a nightmare, and totally hilarious.

    TW, we call those plants milkweed, too. There is some confusion with another milkweed which gets all the glory. Apparently, the other milkweed, which is nothing like ours, is quite revered (and beautiful) in certain places in the southwest.

    The only reason I know any of this is because I once read an article in National Geographic about this other milkweed. Some folks actually go out and plant the other milkweed in an effort to attract butterflies. Can you imagine? Also, being National Geographic, there were photos. So, I could tell by the photos their milkweed is different from ours. Hence the confusion. And, to further the confusion, I could be wrong as my memory seems to be a little off lately.

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  4. Who the hell is Billy Talent? Has the fear of prosecution over posting published lyrics caused you to make them up along with fake talent to attribute them to? Omigod, it's like I don't even know you anymore.

    BTW, tough break on the wayward gardener. A good one is tough to find.

    All my best,
    Dan

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  5. Nick, A parked car,11:30 PM

    Billy Talent is an absolutely amazing band. I strongly recomend them to anyone who likes harder rock or punk. They are where its at homeslice.

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  6. LOL ... no ... I didn't make up the name or the lyrics. I'm glad Nick got on here to give you guys more info ... at least now you don't have to take my word for it that Billy Talent does exist.

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  7. PS - Marie ... thanks for saying that ... because I thought I was losing my mind. I distinctly remember growing up and hearing that viney crap called "milkweed."

    When I looked online milkweed was listed as a plant with purplish flowers. I googled five or six pages deep and there was nothing like the stuff climbing up my fence.

    I remember being very little and thinking it was so cool to pull open those pods and let the silk fly out into the wind ... GOD ... can you IMAGINE the weeds I was spreading each time I did that!? It's amazing how your perspective changes as you get older ...

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