An Open Letter ...

To the asshole that almost hit me this morning ...


This is a direct quote from the official Illinois Rules of the Road book:

"A driver must yield after coming to a complete stop at an intersection where there is a stop sign or flashing red signal. If there is no stop line, stop before the crosswalk. If there is no crosswalk or stop line, stop at a place where all approaching traffic can be seen. Proceed only after stopping and yielding to all pedestrians and other vehicles in the intersection."

Did you catch that last part, you asshat? Let me give it to you again in case you missed it. "Proceed only after stopping and yielding to all pedestrians and other vehicles in the intersection."

What this means is that you cannot ENTER the intersection until I've LEFT the intersection. My car reaching the half way point of an intersection is NOT the green light for you to take off as though you're at Talladega, you stupid SHIT.

Did you notice the conditions this morning? See the white stuff on the ground? It's called snow. The slippery stuff? It's called ice.

Let me further explain ... that small car that you saw me driving doesn't get a lot of traction. Therefore, I can't shoot myself across the intersection as if there's a jet pack strapped to my ass.

I'm sorry, you had to wait the 0.6 seconds extra it took me to cross into my parking lot. I'm also sorry that you nearly t-boned my car and caused me to be a nervous, pissed-off bundle of nerves all morning.

So Happy New Year to you, you reckless bastard ... and slow the fuck down.

Oh, barnyard drivers are found in two classes
Line crowding hogs and speeding jackasses
So remember to slow down today

Nervous Norvus - Transfusion