Well, as of this morning, Mr. ThirtyWhat has lost another three pounds. That, in itself wouldn't be scary ... but I see the changes. We've gone from him snacking off and on all day and eating a full dinner dinner ... even though he might not be able to taste it all ... to him eating next to nothing.
I made hamburgers and rice for dinner last night ... but he simply couldn't swallow the hamburger. He did make a valiant effort to eat some rice ... but that isn't nearly enough nutrition. Then this morning, I scrambled two eggs for him ... and when I left, he'd barely finished one.
This morning, the nutritionist told him we're at a point where we have to start concentrating on soft foods ... mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, smoothies, etc. Plus, I'll need to stop after work and pick up some Ensure or Boost ... because even if he ate a pound of mashed potatoes ... that still wouldn't give him enough protein or vitamins or minerals.
It's too early to feel disheartened ... but I do. He hurts so much ... we can't really laugh like we used to. Before when he was down, I could always get him laughing and pull him out of it ... but now there's just so much more. The fatigue is hard on him ... I just can't imagine what his body is going through. I just remind myself when I'm tired and down and my kidneys are hurting ... that what he's going through has to be ten times worse ... or a hundred times worse ... or a thousand ...
Once you choose hope ... anything is possible. And I do choose hope ... each and every day. I believe he'll beat this ... I believe we'll get through it ...
Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Andy, are you goofing on Elvis?
Hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon
Man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up his sleeve
Then nothing is cool
REM - Man On The Moon