I am not angry ... although it's hard not to be. I suppose this is what they call chronic pain ... nagging ongoing pain that lasts for days or weeks. It's difficult. It's depressing. It makes me frustrated and yes, at times, angry.
I know the cause ... kidney stones. And tomorrow is the big day ... lithotripsy under general anesthesia. I'm really ready for this to be over. The constant twinges ... the painful spasms. I'm developing an aversion to going to the bathroom and that's just not normal.
On the other hand, I do not want to be put under. I have no fear of dying ... on the contrary, I'm okay with that. I do have an intense dislike of that "drugged" feeling I have for two or three days afterward. I'm a very open, talkative person and for me not to be physically able to communicate ... it's very difficult.
Plus our oldest daughter is getting married ... and Sunday is the city's largest bridal expo. We all have tickets and I'm genuinely excited about going ... but how much fun am I going to be be if I'm walking around in a haze? Ugh ...
There's no choice ... it has to be done. Best I can do is keep a positive attitude and expect the best. So I'll report back in a few days and let you know what lithotripsy is like ... and what kind of cake I got to taste at the bridal expo!
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.
Jonathan Coulton - Still Alive
