Monday, December 24, 2012

Bless Me Father ... For I Have Sinned ...

I'm not sure ... but I think I might have finally gotten into the Christmas spirit.  Of course, leave it to me for this to happen on Christmas Eve ... I'll have a whole 48 hours to enjoy the holiday.
I think it might've actually started Saturday.  We drove up to East Peoria to see their Festival of Lights ... and it was amazing.  I can't believe I've lived here this long and never gone up to see it before.  Those lights might've been the crack in the yuletide armor ... but having everyone over last night for a Christmas party really opened it up.
I was worried it wouldn't be very merry ... considering I didn't put up the tree ... or the stocking ... or made a fraction of the effort I normally make.   But it was great ... one of the few things I miss about my old life is the normalcy ... having people over just to hang out ... have dinner ... watch a movie.  That doesn't happen much anymore.  Of course, not having a TV in the living room makes it awkward ... "Hey, wanna come over to my house and watch a movie?  Of course, we'll have to lie in bed to do it ..."
Also, to satisfy my Mom happy before Christmas, I went to a penance service with her on Sunday.  It was the first time I'd said confession since Easter.  And although I've made a lot of jokes about the whole concept (i.e. have I sinned enough to need to go to confession, which sins will I be confessing, should I list them alphabetically or in ascending order based on the amount of fun involved ...) I really did come away with one positive thought ...
According to the priest I spoke with, the point of confession really isn't to confess ... because genuinely being sorry for sinning is enough.  The point is that it makes you aware of the things you need to work on.  That's cool ... I can behind that.  We make mistakes ... and when we're aware that we're doing them, there's a better chance we can move forward.

So ... based on my confession, I can try not to miss mass as often.  I can also make an effort not to think about running certain people over with my car.  The profanity though ... fuck that ... a woman deserves at least one vice, doesn't she?
When you call my name it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there
Madonna - Like a Prayer