Friday, December 21, 2012

Holy Crap ... Christmas is WHEN?

Allons y, motherfuckers!

Well, we made it!  The Mayan apocalypse came and went ... and yet, we're still here.  And so, instead of sitting back and watching the collapse of civilization, I'm now having to finalize Christmas plans.

This one is totally on me.  A half dozen people have been asking, "So, when we gonna do Christmas?" and my answer to every single one was, "Hmmm, I don't know.  Let me think about it ..." because honestly ... in my head, Christmas was still a long ways off.

It wasn't until this morning when the office started clearing out ... people yelling Merry Christmas across the cubes as they left for the holidays ... that it hit me.  Christmas is Tuesday.  Christmas is Tuesday.  This is Friday.  This is not good ...

Presents are no big deal ... I've had those planned out for weeks now.  It was mainly planning time with everybody.  I promise it wasn't anything personal against anyone who tried to schedule anything with me ... I just wasn't ready to think about it yet.   In my head, it didn't make sense to nail anything down and say "Let's do this Sunday ..." because in my head we still had time.

We don't still have time.

So, I've got everything pretty much sketched out ... except for my group of friends.  Some of us are having a little party on Tuesday ... I guess I can give them their gifts then?   I didn't buy anything offensive so it doesn't matter who's around.  Um, other people?  Saturday maybe?  I don't know ...

You know, what?  I blame the Mayans.  If they hadn't fucked up their calendar, I wouldn't be in this position.  Thanks for ruining Christmas, Mayans ...

Its time for everybody
To have a Christmas party
Everyone but me I'll step outside
Boycott your office party
No secret Santa for me
Mistletoe makes me sneeze anyway
Cos I don't wanna go
Where happy days are snow
I'd rather stay where
Frosty melts in the sun
July 4 parade
A Lynchburg lemonade
An alcohol-iday by the pool in the sun
Now everybody sing

Deck the halls with bells of holly
'Tis the season to be jolly but
I hate Christmas
I'm glad it only comes one time a year

Zebrahead - I Hate Christmas

Update:   We just got the news ... President Obama has declared all of Monday, December 24th, a holiday for federal workers.  It's a Christmas miracle!  I couldn't be any happier if Santa himself showed up!