Thursday, January 10, 2013

And Yet I Still Like Fog ...

Yesterday, it was rainy and damp and foggy ... and I started thinking ...

Years and years ago, I was dating this guy. It didn't last long. The word incompatible doesn't even begin to describe our personalities. I have no idea what I was even thinking, to be honest. But in any case, I digress ...

One afternoon, I was riding in his car. It was misty and foggy. So foggy, in fact, that the street lights had come on ... and you could look up at them and see a soft bubble of yellow glow around each lamp.

I was watching the lights and said, "You know what?" and he sighed and said, "You think the fog is sexy." and I smiled and said, "YES! Exactly! How'd you know?" and he rolled his eyes and grumbled, "You think everything is sexy."

At that moment, I didn't think, "what an asshole" or "man, we just do not click." No ... at that moment, I felt bad about myself ... ashamed ... and wondered what was wrong with me.

Whenever it's foggy out, I look up and see the street lights ... and I think of that day. And I'm wistful ... wishing I knew where he was today ... so I could tell him to go fuck himself.

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man
You can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know, what you don't know ...

Taylor Swift - Mean