Oh, irony ... come here and gimme a hug, you glorious bitch.
Last summer, I went on a short, ill-fated road trip ... a road trip that sent my Mom into an apoplectic fit. I skipped family night ... an act which is apparently the rarely-known fourth unforgivable curse ... second only to avada kedavra. Contrary to what you'd expect from me ... absolutely nothing happened on that trip. But let me tell you ... given the shit storm I had to deal with when I returned, I apparently should've worked a little harder.
That particular weekend, my brother was visiting ... and he did not help the situation at all. You'd think there would've been a conversation that went something like, "Aw, Mom ... she's a big girl ... let her have some fun." or "Aw, Mom, let it go ... we have family dinner once a month ... she'll go next time ..." but no. He sat back and let the hurricane blow.
Sooooooo ... last night ... when I asked my delightful brother to give me his schedule for the week so that I didn't make conflicting plans ... I almost squealed with delight when he quietly mumbled that he would be driving home Friday morning without going to family dinner. I couldn't help myself ... I started laughing. All I could think was, "If revenge is a dish best served cold, then serve me up a plate ... cause this motherfucker is gonna taste gooood ..."
Oh yes ... balls were tripped. And yes ... it was good. It was so good I needed a cigarette afterwards. At first he tried to deny he ever planned on going. Then he switched tactics and tried my "It's not a big deal!" argument from the summer. He should've asked me ... I could've told him how well THAT was gonna work. I know I made it worse ... me giggling and snorting while she was chewing him out probably only threw gas on the fire ... but, common. This shit was gold.
When I finally put my coat on to go, my brother looked at me and said ... "So, you were the bad guy last visit ... now it's my turn?" And I said, "Uh huh ... looks like you're the new black sheep. Baaaaa for me, baby ..." He flipped me the finger ... and I blew him a kiss.
Ahhhhhh ... siblings.
I don't like it
I don't need
I don't want it
Cause baby I don't believe it
And I
Got no shame
Well I got no one to blame
All the same
Gonna taste the wine
Cause it's right there in front of me
I don't need
I don't want it
Cause baby I don't believe it
And I
Got no shame
Well I got no one to blame
All the same
Gonna taste the wine
Cause it's right there in front of me
Brother Cane - Got No Shame
