Wow ... I've been a woman how many years now? And still ... after all these years ... I've completely failed my gender. Who knew?
Last Sunday, Seth McFarland hosted the Oscars ... and the opening featured a song called "We Saw Your Boobs." Apparently, I was supposed to be offended? I didn't get the memo. According to Jezebel, his entire performance was the height of sexism and was so bad that it ripped a hole in both time and space and we have now been transported back to the stone age.
I'm sorry. I laughed. I have boobs ... and I laughed hard.
Here's my take ... the joke wasn't that Seth was slut shaming women for showing their boobs. The joke was that ... in an alternate timeline ... Seth was as terrible host because he was so juvenile that he sang a song about being thrilled to see boobies. The reaction shots of the women in the audience didn't show them clutching their pearls crying, "Oh no, he saw my breasts!" ... they were women rolling their eyes saying, "Grow the fuck up, Seth." We got it ... and we laughed.
We laughed at Seth ... and incidentally most men ... and their love of boobs. For women, breasts might've been kind of interesting when they initially started showing up under our shirts ... but, I assure, the newness quickly wears off when you're handed a training bra and told you'll be wearing one every day for the rest of your life. I'm not sure what men have going on at the same age ... something with their winkies, I'm sure ... but right around that age ... things dramatically shift and women are just like, "Boobs ... meh ..." whereas men are, "Boobs ... YEAH!"
And, to further horrify my feminist sisters ... I think that's great. You like boobs? That's awesome ... cause guess what? I've got boobs! Play your cards right and it works out great for both of us!
I just think we ought to be able to laugh at ourselves ... not be so serious all the time. Sure ... he could've turned the song around and sang, "We Saw Your Ass" about men ... but the joke is in how damned happy he was to talk about seeing boobies! Good lord, people ... I can believe in equal pay and a woman's right to choose ... and still laugh at Seth McFarland. And if it offended you that much ... here ... go watch the parody ... We Saw Your Junk ...
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you
But I'd have to charge
Kelis - Milkshake