So I have contacts. I don't wear them everyday ... but several times a week. Generally if I know I'm working all day staring at a computer, I go with glasses. If I'm giving a presentation at a training school or going out, I go with contacts. Several years ago I had the disposable kind that were amazing ... but I had a bad habit of sleeping in them and wearing them for several days ... and my eye doctor strongly suggested I stop doing that.
In any case ... about a month or two ago, something went wrong. I put my contacts in before going to dinner with a group of friends and something was off. My left eye was perfectly fine ... I could see 20/20. But the right eye was blurry ... off ... maybe even slightly doubled? Remember yesterday when I said I was stubborn? Yup. I wore those suckers anyway. I tried to look out of my left eye more ... which means I spent a fair amount of time with my head cocked to the side. I got a headache ... but dammit, I wore them.
Now ... smart people would stop there, right? Nope. I have deep cleaning solution ... so I cleaned them. I wore them again ... same thing. Blurry ... headache. I knew there was nothing wrong with my eyes ... I can see fine with my glasses. There was something wrong with those contacts. I called the eye doctor for my yearly exam ... thinking I'd get a new pair ... but my "yearly" appointment wasn't due until April. So ... what's a girl to do?
Well, a smart girl wears her glasses. A stubborn girl insists that it isn't that bad and keeps wearing the damned things. Guess which one I am?
So last night ... I had plans. I decided I was going to wear contacts. Don't ask ... it's just more convenient. So I sat on the edge of the bed ... looking at the TV ... trying to focus ... squinting ... cocking my head ... when I had an odd idea. What if ... at some point weeks ago ... I had accidentally put them in the wrong eye? And so ... I took them out and switched.
Do I need to say it? Everything's perfect. Yes ... at some point weeks ago I put the left in the right and the right in the left ... and wore them like that for over a month.
Does that make me a moron? Or just the most stubborn human being on the planet? Or both? Don't answer ... that's a rhetorical question. I don't want to know ...
And from the stage I can tell
That she can't let go and she can't relax
And just before she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby
Shawn Mullins - Rockaby