Wednesday, March 20, 2013

In Which I Prove I'm a Moron ...

So I have contacts.   I don't wear them everyday ... but several times a week.   Generally if I know I'm working all day staring at a computer, I go with glasses.   If I'm giving a presentation at a training school or going out, I go with contacts.   Several years ago I had the disposable kind that were amazing ... but I had a bad habit of sleeping in them and wearing them for several days ... and my eye doctor strongly suggested I stop doing that.

In any case ... about a month or two ago, something went wrong.   I put my contacts in before going to dinner with a group of friends and something was off.   My left eye was perfectly fine ... I could see 20/20.  But the right eye was blurry ... off ... maybe even slightly doubled?   Remember yesterday when I said I was stubborn?  Yup.  I wore those suckers anyway.   I tried to look out of my left eye more ... which means I spent a fair amount of time with my head cocked to the side.  I got a headache ... but dammit, I wore them.

Now ... smart people would stop there, right?   Nope.  I have deep cleaning solution ... so I cleaned them.  I wore them again ... same thing.  Blurry ... headache.   I knew there was nothing wrong with my eyes ... I can see fine with my glasses.   There was something wrong with those contacts.  I called the eye doctor for my yearly exam ... thinking I'd get a new pair ... but my "yearly" appointment wasn't due until April.  So ... what's a girl to do?

Well, a smart girl wears her glasses.  A stubborn girl insists that it isn't that bad and keeps wearing the damned things.  Guess which one I am?

So last night ... I had plans.  I decided I was going to wear contacts.  Don't ask ... it's just more convenient.  So I sat on the edge of the bed ... looking at the TV ... trying to focus ... squinting ... cocking my head ... when I had an odd idea.  What if ... at some point weeks ago ... I had accidentally put them in the wrong eye?  And so ... I took them out and switched.

Do I need to say it?  Everything's perfect.  Yes ... at some point weeks ago I put the left in the right and the right in the left ... and wore them like that for over a month.

Does that make me a moron?  Or just the most stubborn human being on the planet?  Or both?   Don't answer ... that's a rhetorical question.  I don't want to know ...

She feels safe now in this bar on Fairfax.
And from the stage I can tell
That she can't let go and she can't relax
And just before she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby

Shawn Mullins - Rockaby

No comments:

Post a Comment