Friday, March 08, 2013

Once Upon a Time ...

"Once upon a time there was a princess.   She was a pretty kick-ass princess, as princesses go ...

That's as far as my fairy tale telling abilities go.   I'm just not very good at once upon a times.   This is why Jesus didn't give me babies.  He knew at some point there would be a moment when a little one would say, "Tell me a story ..." and I would say something like ... "Well, let's see ... it is a period of civil war.  Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire ..." and my child would've rolled their eyes and said, "Ugh, again?  Never mind ... I'm just gonna get some sleep."

But as far as fairy tales go ... I'd like to think mine has had it's fair share of excitement and adventure.  I've fought a few dragons ... met one or two evil queens ... and while my dishes have yet to sing, "Be Our Guest" to me, I haven't tried mushrooms or acid yet ... so ... I guess there's still hope.

Unlike Grimm, real life fairy tales rarely involve poisoned apples ... or glass slippers ... or a house made of candy.   Which I'll admit is a bit of a disappointment ... but at least in fairy tales, when the princess escapes from the dragon ... the dragon rarely calls her at work to ask if they can still be friends.  Spoiler alert ... no.  No, they can't.

So, when I'm busy at work ... doing menial tasks while waiting for my office to close ... or standing at my kitchen counter, back aching, putting together an involved recipe ... or sitting in line at the bank waiting to pay the mortgage ... I remind myself ... I am a princess.   A princess with a castle that needs work ... and a noble steed that is disguised as a schnauzer who loves to poop ... and a carriage that looks a lot like a simple black sedan ... but a princess nonetheless.

Dragons and evil queens ... they can keep their distance.  That chapter is closed.

The men up there don't like a lot of blather
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

The Little Mermaid - Poor Unfortunate Souls