Saturday, May 11, 2013

Friday 5: A Bit of Knowledge

Okay ... so I'm doing the Friday 5 on Saturday ... because I'm nothing if not a rebel!  Ugh .. fine ... I'm not a rebel.  I spent Friday evening at my guy's house ... eating pizza and watching The Fast and the Furious ... a movie that actually wasn't too bad ... despite being made strictly for people who pee standing up.  Also, my guy bought Cherry Coke for me ... which earned him my eternal devotion.  Yes ... yes my love can be bought for a 12 pack of Cherry Coke.  Fuck you ... don't judge me!

The Friday 5

1.  What’s something you know about constellations? - Aw hell ... I should lie, right?  Google some amazing fact on a constellation and look smart and witty?  No ... the truth is ... constellations baffle me.  More truth?  I can't see them.  For years people have said things like, "Look up in the sky ... see that over there?  That's Cassiopeia!" and I'm like, "Oh yeah ... that's sooooo cool!"  But in reality, all I see are stars.  I can't see the patterns.  I've tried innumerous times.  For me, the sky is just a dazzling landscape of twinkling lights ... nothing but beauty and chaos.  I don't see the constellations ... but I do see a universe of wonder.

2.  What’s something you know about bugs? - What do I know about bugs?  Well, they serve a purpose ... the whole circle of life thing?  All God's creatures great and small ... and all that?  No matter how much revulsion I feel for spiders and bees and anything creepy or crawly, they exist for a reason.  Even mosquitoes ... they're food for other animals.  Everyone is someone else's brisket. 

3.  What’s something you know about a car’s engine? - One of my drinking buddies from way back in the day was a gear head.  He told me once that engines need two things to run ... fire and fuel.  If a car won't start there are two reasons ... it isn't getting fuel ... or it isn't getting fire.  If it's missing fuel then it's out of gas or the fuel pump is out.  If it's missing fire then the spark plugs are bad or something like that.  Now ... is any of that true?  Hell if I know!  I have no idea ... I was drunk.  Besides I go to a mechanic for these things.

4.  What’s something you know about wine or beer? - Wow ... you picked subjects about which I know next to nothing.  Wine ... wine gives me a headache.  Really dry wine can trigger a migraine.  And beer?  Beer just tastes so ... I don't know ... yeasty?  The very first beer I ever tasted was on a sand bar when I was seventeen.  It was a can of Budweiser and it was ... oh God ... is there a word that is stronger than repulsive?   The sad part is that I want to be one of the cool kids ... I want to like beer.  Occasionally I think there has to be some good tasting beer with all that artisanal micro-brew apple raspberry honey lager ale?  But then I remember how great Cherry Coke tastes and I think ... fuck it.

5.  What’s something you know about the Pacific Ocean? - I know it's on my bucket list.  I've played in the Atlantic Ocean ... I've played in the Gulf of Mexico ... but I've never even seen the Pacific.  I hear it's beautiful?  Someday ... it's on my to do list.  Along with finding a beer that tastes just like Cherry Coke!

I'm not aware of too many things,
But I know what I know if you know what I mean.
Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box.
Religion is the smile on a dog.
I'm not aware of too many things,
But I know what I know if you know what I mean.

Edie Brickell - What I Am

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