Sunday, July 07, 2013

If "Ifs" and "Buts" Were Candy and Nuts ...

There are two types of girls.   The pretty girls who have the world at their feet ... and the rest of us.  Now, if you find yourself in the camp with the rest of us, you have two choices.  You can bemoan the fact that those bitches are getting it all ... or ... you can learn to make up for whatever it is you lack.   Seriously ... a little self confidence and a heaping dose of fearlessness can overcome a myriad of problems. 

So ... despite being in Camp Dos ... I did date my fair share of guys.  Now ... all these years later ... I find myself in an odd position.   All those things that we thought were cool when we were young ... all those stories of debauchery and mayhem ... not so cool anymore.

Sitting with Stoney and J last night, talking about our misspent youth, I went from laughing to mortified in a relatively short period of time.  J was remembering things that I'd forgotten ... or things that I was hoping everyone else  had forgotten.  We weren't even drinking and yet it just kept getting worse.

As bad as I felt at the end of the night ... I'm not going to lie to him.  Better he hears something from me than from someone else.  I don't want him bumping into someone and them saying, "Oh, didn't you know I dated her?"  That's not cool. 

All these stories ... and while I have some very valid reasons for the things I've done ... when I was young, I didn't worry about "what ifs" or "tomorrows."  True, it wasn't the best of attitudes.  But my theory was that ... someday, when I was ready to settle down, I would give my all to someone.  And now, all I can do is tell him ... that was years ago ... and when I give my heart to someone ... I'm loyal.  Loyal to a fault, obviously.

I wanted so bad for my best friend to be there last night ... she would've totally run interference for me.  Then again ... considering how much she liked Stoney, she might have just added a few more details I'd forgotten.

Oh sweet darlin'
You get the best of my love
Oh sweet darlin'
You get the best of my love

Eagles - Best of my Love

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