Saturday, July 20, 2013

Thanks For the Gum ...

(What picture did you expect?)

Tom Cochran was right ... life is a highway!  Today the highway happened to take us to Tilted Kilt ... a new restaurant in town that's basically an Irish-themed, upscale Hooters.

Now ... since I'm not a vagitarian, I can't appreciate the decor nearly as much as Stoney and J ... but it's still entertaining as hell to go.  I like to people watch ... and places like Hooters or Show-Me's or Tilted Kilt is the perfect place to see humanity in all its wonder.  It's like a sociology experiment... with every type of person represented.  

There were plenty of men like Stoney and J ... who enjoyed the scenery ... but were well-mannered about it.  Then there were a few bro-dudes who were walking erections and acted like the douche bags they are.  There was a young boy who furtively glanced around the room, afraid to look directly at the waitresses for fear his mother would see ... that poor kid is going to need some therapy.  There was another young man who looked genuinely pained to be there.  He kept his arms folded across his lap.  I've never had to deal with ill-timed penis issues ... but I genuinely felt sorry for him.

As far as my gender, there was one table with two elderly women.  I don't know what was going on with that.  There were plenty of women like me who don't give much of a fuck and were just having fun.  But then ... then there were the women who were there ... but they were pissed.  Seriously, seriously pissed.

I don't get that. Were you tricked into coming? Were you expecting Applebee's? What exactly pissed you off?  Did your man accidentally look at the boobs too long?  You know ... the boobs that are everywhereSeriously ... it's not like he has to try to see them ... it would take a Herculean effort not to see them.  Take a Xanax ... and relax. They aren't offering blow jobs behind the bar.  Everybody looks ... and as long as he isn't sticking his dick in anything ... let him look

Now in my case, Stoney is smart enough to not be obnoxious about it.  He and J were both respectful around me ... in fact I giggled and snorted and pointed out belly button rings and tats much more than they did.  I suppose if your man is one of the douche bags, you have a right to sport an attitude.  But as long as he doesn't order a chicken breast hold the chicken ... unclench.  Let him get an eye full ... then take him home and show him yours.  Everyone wins!

Seriously ... problem solved!  Next?

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

Tom Cochran - Life is a Highway

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