Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Thirty Thirty Bo Burty ...

What's in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  Or would it?

So the story goes ...

My mother was nine months pregnant with me ... and things weren't all sunshine and lollipops at the homestead.  My father would only pick out one name for me ... a boy's name ... and he wanted me named Harold, after his father.   My mother wanted me to be named Tomasina Jolene ... with the end goal of nicknaming me Tommy Jo.   My brother, who would've been 11 while this drama was playing out, wanted a sister named Nancy.

Apparently there was a lot of disagreements over this.  My mother, to this day, says if I would've been a boy she doesn't know what I would've been named ... but it would never have been Harold.  I guess, after much discussion, they came up with a third option ... which we'll call ThirtyWhat ... because why stop now?

The time for my arrival was not just near ... I was late.  Mom's due date was mid-October ... and we were well into November with no signs that I had any plans of moving out.  So, since no one could agree ... and they were running out of time ... they put three names in a hat:  Tomasina Jolene, ThirtyWhat, and Nancy. 

Now, let me just take a moment to say that I'm touched that my parents were so invested in me and my future success that they decided drawing a name out of a hat was an acceptable way to name their baby.  Seriously ... thanks, guys.  In any case, a name was drawn ... and, a short while later, a tiny ThirtyWhat was born.

Stoney and I were discussing tonight how odd it would be to date a "Tommy Jo" ... because it doesn't lend itself well to certain situations.   It just wouldn't sound as hot to hear someone moan, "Oh yeah, Tommy Jo ... that feels so good."   It just sounds ... wrong.

I'm not crazy about my name.  I've never liked it.  But after careful reconsideration ... thank God for small favors.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him just because you can

Dolly Parton - Jolene

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