Sunday, September 22, 2013

But They Were Cute AND Comfy!


So ... it would seem that I didn't leave the house yesterday. 

Wait.  I know how bad that sounds ... but I wasn't being a complete recluse.   I stripped the bed ... did two loads of laundry ... started working on organizing and cleaning the 2nd guest room upstairs.   I thought I'd actually accomplished a little.  And yet, when I opened the door to let Miniature Moose in today, I found the mailbox stuffed full ... and an advertisement for Aldi's hanging on the door.  It was a little embarrassing ... my first weekend without gainful employment and I didn't leave the house on Saturday?  I didn't 't even bring in the mail? 

In any case, when we brought the mail in, I found a big white envelope from ARS ... it was my separation package.  About two inches thick ... it was chock full of all sorts of forms and manuals and paperwork.  I haven't gone through them all piece by piece ... but I flipped through ... and I did find one document rather interesting.

I have a form that says:

TAKE THIS FORM WITH YOU IF YOU GO TO FILE A CLAIM
UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION FOR FEDERAL EMPLOYEES PROGRAM

It's been pre-signed and pre-coded by our HR contact in ARS.  It's supposed to help expedite my paperwork ... and let them know that the government won't be fighting my claim.

On one hand ... okay.  Well, that should make things easier, I suppose.  So ... thank you, Uncle Sam.  It's very ... servicey ... of you.  

On the other hand?   Really?  That's kind of rude.  Like ... we know you're about to be unemployed  and you're really taking it up the ass ... so hey ... make sure you run down and file for unemployment, okay?  Good luck in the future!  Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, kay?

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.  My plan is to be up early ... and by down at the unemployment office when they open at 8:30.  At first I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be sleeping in on my first "no work Monday" ... but ... really?  This is a good thing.  I have an action plan ... I know what I need to do ... and I'm going to do it.

Meanwhile, Mom's scaring the shit out of me ... advising me to use a free clinic that's down on East Cook when my insurance runs out next month.   She doesn't even know I was a dumb-ass and bought a pair of boots today without even thinking. 

Yes ... I should be in "save" mode and not "acquire" mode ... but they'll look super cute when I go to the unemployment office tomorrow!

God knows, you're lookin' good enough,
but you're so smooth and the world's so rough.
You might have somethin' to loose.
Oh, no, pretty mama, what you gonna
Do in those shoes?

Eagles - Those Shoes

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