So let's talk about game night!
Yesterday, Stoney hosted the very first Totally Inappropriate Game Night (TIGN-®). We had a small group ... several more people were invited; however, some had other plans ... some had family matters they needed to handle. In the end, it came down to five of us ... Stoney, First Wife, J, Pinky, and me.
I was disappointed the others couldn't come ... I genuinely like his friends. In fact, I really miss going to trivia because I miss seeing everyone. But I digress ... two of the women who couldn't come frequently joke about being "G Rated" so I'm not entirely sure how comfortable they would've been with Cards Against Humanity.
CAG is an amazingly fun game ... imagine an adult version of Apples to Apples. It's filthy and it's hilarious and it's offensive ... and I just can't picture a couple of our friends answering game questions with answers cards like, "Finding yourself balls deep in a squealing hog." or "Pac Man uncontrollably guzzling cum." I'm not making those up ... those were two cards that were played last night.
Anyhow, as expected, J spent most of the evening ignoring us and texting his latest girlfriend, Top Gear. I wouldn't have minded quite as much ... however, he purposefully neglected to put his phone on vibrate. So not once, not twice, but over a dozen times we heard his text alert which is Matt Smith saying, "You've got a text message. Text messages are cool." There we were ... trying to play ... handing out new cards ... answering questions ... while constantly hearing, "You've got a text message. Text messages are cool."
Truth is ... I still have an issue with him. Part of that issue is that I'm mad at myself. Last night was the first game night we've had since his wife, my best friend, died. We've gotten together in various groups ... one time to stain Stoney's deck ... another to watch the Breaking Bad finale. But this was our trivia group having a game night. And stupid me ... I was worried about him. I worried that it would be hard on him .... remembering the last time we all got together for game night at Stoney's house ... because she was with us. But hey ... how could he be sad thinking about her last night? He was too busy texting Top Gear.
So I sat there ... at each annoying text alert ... getting madder at him ... and madder at myself. Pinky came up to me at one point and hugged me and said, "Are you alright? You aren't your normal cheerful self." That was disappointing because I thought I was putting on a pretty good face. Then awhile later, J turned to Pinky and said, "TopGear and I text all the time. ThirtyWhat's tired of me talking about her." Well poop. Guess Pinky was right ... I wasn't hiding it very well.
My best friend's birthday is Monday ... she would've been 42. In a perfect, logical world, J would've asked me and Stoney to go get dinner Monday ... or see a movie ... or do something in honor of her. But that won't happen. J's too busy pretending she didn't exist to celebrate her birthday. So I'm going to take her flowers ... and that'll be enough. I've found my zen. It's not my job to make sure he remembers her on Monday ... it's enough that I do.
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Sarah McLachlan - Arms of the Angel