Today was a very odd day. A day of relief and introspection ...
I got two calls today from two separate doctor's offices. The first was to tell me that the mammogram was clear ... my boobies are just fine. That's a relief ... I can probably admit it now that it's over ... but I was so scared I couldn't think straight.
A few months ago, I had a good friend die from breast cancer that metastasized to her bones. I saw the struggles she went through fighting that horrible disease ... and it scared the hell out of me. I didn't think I could be as strong as she was ... I didn't want that cup passed to me.
And I'm so terribly ashamed to admit this ... but vanity was a big part of it. I already have the worst shape imaginable (a circle is a shape, right?) because of my kidney disease. Everyone with PKD has a terribly swollen midsection ... and my boobs are about all I have going for me. The thought of losing them? Unbearable. Yes ... I am fully aware of how shallow and vapid that sounds. But seriously? I am full of kidneys over here. My other organs have no room. Could we not take away my boobs? Please?!
So, the fear and long nights of fretting and worrying were for naught. The ta ta's are alright. The bone scan? Not so much. I'm losing bone at a rate that isn't remotely acceptable for someone my age. It's the kidney thing ... it's sucking the vitamin D and calcium out of me. I'm not into full osteoporosis yet ... and I have two years before my next bone scan to start taking daily supplements and stop the loss before I wind up with broken bones.
The last call was my nephrologist's office. The kidney function news wasn't awesome. I'm below 30% now. It's not catastrophic. I can make this last for years, hopefully. It's just a matter of taking my medicine every day ... and drinking lots of water. That one is going to be a struggle ... I'm not fond of water. However, since I'm less fond of the idea of dialysis ... guess who has two thumbs and will be drinking more water? This chick.
Lastly, it's the day before Valentine's ... and like every other woman in the world, I'm taking care of last minute details. I've spent the night wrapping presents and arranging things just so. I'm still on the fence about something. As far as confidence goes, one present I'm at 95%, another I'm at 75%, and the last is at 20%. I might take it out of the bag at the last moment ... we'll see.
I also bought too many cards ... again. Last year I bought three cards. I am not joking ... I was like Goldilocks. The first card was too sentimental ... the second card wasn't nearly sentimental enough ... the third card was just about right. This year, I'm doing better ... I only bought two. I'm not sure which one he'll get ... maybe he'll get both ... maybe I'll buy another tomorrow?! I have issues ...
So ... it was a long day ... I'm quite frankly ready for it to be over. But I'm going to focus on the good news. My sweater puppies are safe for another two years ... and yes, I'll drink more water. Right after I drink a very un-ladylike amount of strawberry lemonade tomorrow night. Mmmmmm ... strawberry lemonade ... agggghhhhhhhh
They can really make you sad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best ...
Monty Python -
Always Look On the Bright Side Of Life