Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Goose Chases - Vol. 1

A friend of mine read one of my posts this weekend ... and e-mailed to ask what kind of goose chases I was referring to ... because they sounded like a barrel of fun.  Hah ... I wish! 

So, I thought I'd share a story ...

I was always coming up with some kind of hair-brained plan ... some of which worked out fabulously ... others ... not so much.   K was usually amenable.  She would listen and, nine times out of ten, would sigh and agree to go along.

When I was a senior in high school, I was the lead in our school play.  I developed a crush on a boy, Simon, who was also one of the leads.  The problem was that I was a senior ... and he was a sophomore.  Senior girls just did not date sophomores.  Oh, but I liked him ... and he liked me.  We spent time together ... but in the end, I was too hung up on the age difference.

Fast forward ... about five years.  I was in my early 20's ... K and I were driving in her car around killing time.  We were cruising around the small town that contained our high school ... when my crush happened to cross my mind.  "What ever happened to Simon?"  I asked.   K said she didn't know ... she thought he was still living with his parents.  I asked, "Where do they live?"

And we were off ... on another goose chase.

We found the house easy enough.  We drove down the alley and saw, what she told me, was his car.  It was parked next to the garage.  We drove around the block ... and I said, "Pull back in the alley ... I want to leave a note on his car!"   K again sighed ... put up a small argument ... and gave in, pulling  into the alley.

I took slip of paper and wrote something simple and cheesy like, "Call me!"  She pulled beside his Camaro and turned off her headlights.  It was pitch black.  I opened the passenger's door and walked the short distance.  Meanwhile, K got out and leaned against her open door waiting for me.

As I walked up and leaned over to place my note, the back door FLEW open ... and Simon was standing on his back porch yelling, "HEY!  Who the hell is messing with my CAR?!"  Then a pause ... "Huh?  K??  Is that you?"

I was so mortified, I wanted to die.  I have no idea how embarrassed K was ... considering this wasn't even her idea.  She yelled back, "Hey, Simon ... how goes it?"   He comically cocked his head to the side and said, "ThirtyWhat???"  "Yup ... its me.  Hey, Simon ..."  "What are you two doing?" 

I sighed, "It's kind of a long story."  It wasn't ... it was a short story.  A short, humiliating story.  He said, "Well, come inside and you can tell it to me!"

K looked at me ... and, best friends or not, if looks could kill, I would've never lived long enough to be called ThirtyWhat.   We walked up to the house ... and he lead us down to the basement to his room.

Whatever charm he used to have in high school?  Was gone.  His room was a dark, foreboding dungeon ... he didn't offer to turn on a light.  There was a water bed and a video camera set up on a tri-pod.  I don't even wanna guess what that was about.  He had an old beta-max video recorder and was taping black and white Twilight Zones off a small television.  The atmosphere was ... disturbing ... and the room smelled like ancient, stale beer.  

I tried to joke in a light-hearted way ... "I was thinking of you ... and thought I'd leave you a note."  He looked puzzled and said, "You couldn't just pick up the phone and call?"  K and Simon talked for a bit ... and finally she said, "Well, we need to get going ..."  

As we drove away, I told K ... "I am so sorry ... I will never get us into a mess like that again!"  She just looked at me ... raised her eyebrows ... and said, "Mmmm hmmmm ...."

Yeah ... I did ...

Girls will keep the secrets
So long as boys make a noise
Fools run rings to break up
Something they'll never destroy

Duran Duran - Notorious

No comments:

Post a Comment