Friday, June 06, 2014

You Had ONE Job ...

Dear Steak n Shake et al ...

"Coke" ... is not a "Diet Coke." 

Those two products are not the same thing.   I'm looking at my receipt right now ... and it says:

1 Regular Coke - Add Vanilla Syrup

It does not say:

1 Generic Coke Product Of Our Choice

I am one of the thousands of people who have a reaction to Aspartame.  No, not everyone does ... but I do.  I get a splitting headache from just one or two drinks.

Today I paid close to $2.50 for a medium vanilla Coke.  Now, we could argue about the insanity of you charging ... or, worse, me paying ... two dollars and fifty cents for sugar water.  But we'll skip that for now.  My issue is that I paid good money for something that I dumped on the ground as soon as I tasted it. 

"But ThirtyWhat, why didn't you just have them give you a different one?  I'm sure they'd happy replace it."

I'm sure they would.  But like most Americans, I have a job ... and my employer frowns on extended lunch breaks.  And since I made the mistake of pulling away before taking a drink ... of waiting for that first magical sip until I pulled into the parking lot ... guess what?  I'm out $2.50 ... and I'm out my vanilla Coke, you bastards!

I am very proud of the fact that I've cut back on drinking soda.  In fact, I don't drink much of it at all.  Every day I drink one Capri-Sun on the drive to work.   I usually sip on peach tea throughout the day ... sometimes it's lemonade.  But soda, of any kind, is a treat at this point.

So if I'm craving something specific ... say a vanilla Coke from Steak n Shake ... and I make the effort to drive clear over there at lunch ... only to find myself sitting here at my desk with a headache ... well, you can imagine that I am not a happy camper.

Goddammit ... I want a vanilla Coke.

Thank you,

PS - Apropos of nothing, my lone ovary might be kicking in.

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

New Seekers - I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing

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