Saturday, July 05, 2014

Do You Wanna #$%& a Snow Man?

So ... six months after everyone else on the planet, Stoney and I watched Frozen.   No, we aren't the cheapest bastards on the planet ... although we did catch it on Starz.  It was just a matter of timing.  College One invited me to go see it in the theater with her several times ... if I remember right, one time all three girls went ... but I just couldn't find the time to go.

So anyway, fast forward ...

I love Disney animated movies.   The Little Mermaid used to be my absolute favorite ... until I burned myself out playing it hour after hour while working part time at a video store.  But Beauty and the Beast stands the test of time.  It's flawless ... a perfect movie.

Frozen was at a disadvantage going in ... because it was so over-hyped.  Everyone told me how amazing it was.  You expect that from little girls ... and women.  But straight men were gushing about how much they loved Frozen.  That's a lot to live up to.

It's weird ... there are parts of Frozen that I adore ... parts that remind me of classic Disney.   For instance ... Do You Want To Build a Snowman?   It's so adorable.   When lil' Anna sings, "Okay, bye ..." you just want to hug her and build a goddamned snowman with her!  

The song about opening the gate was fun ... I was still on board.   But then the love song?   Um ... okay?

I guess one of my problems with Frozen is that it feels ... unfinished.   Kristoff's Reindeer Are Better Than People is genuinely cute ... but it feels unfinished.  It's the beginning of a cute Disney number.   I liked Olaf ... although he didn't seem to fit?   Almost like an addition.  Like there was a conversation in a board room somewhere, "This movie is cute ... but it doesn't have a talking animal side kick."  "Well, we have the reindeer."  "He doesn't talk."  "Well ... um ... we could add a snow man?"  "Yeah!"

And here's where I'm going to get crucified by the Frozen devotees out there ... Let It Go ... sigh.  Taken separately, it's an amazing song.  It's catchy as hell ... I can't stop singing it in my head.  But it was so much more orchestrated than the rest of the numbers.  It's over the top.  It's a Broadway show stopper ... not a Disney piece.   I guess it isn't any grander than Be Our Guest ... so maybe my problem is this ...

I can't get Idina Menzel out of my head.  She is Elphaba.  She is Maureen.   I hear her voice and she is Idina Menzel.  At no point did I look at Elsa and think of Elsa as a character because all I heard was that beautiful, distinctive voice.   I'm sure people who aren't Wicked obsessed like I am won't have this issue.   But for me ... a fair-skinned, silver-blond haired queen does not fit that voice.

I'm so glad I watched it ... it's not bad.  But it wasn't the overwhelming experience I was expecting.  I was expecting another Belle.   Anna is adorable ... but she's no Belle.

Every single day,
I walk down the street
I hear people say 'baby so sweet'
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys girls I can't help it baby
So be kind and don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby

Rent - Take Me Baby Or Leave Me

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