Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Fears ... Both Rational and Irrational ...

Today has been ... better!  My garbage bin was (finally) delivered ... and my doctor's office called to let me know they faxed in the order for my CPAP.

Last night was weird and rough ... I packed and cleaned until I dozed off around 9:30.  Then I woke up at eleven and threw up my dinner.  I have no idea what that was about.  I didn't eat anything heavy or spicy ... just half of a turkey sandwich.  So I was tired this morning ... and felt weak most of the day.

Hopefully in the next day or two, I'll get my CPAP and maybe sleep better?  I'm terribly nervous.  I'm afraid of suffocating.  I'm afraid of having those big, ugly, red marks on my face the next morning.  I'm afraid of looking stupid every night.  It's not that I'm shallow ... but I don't have that much going for me as it is.  I can't have permanent red marks on my face ... and I don't want to look any stupider than I already do.

But bottom line ... I'm exhausted.  I've gotta try something.  Ugh ... CPAP ... here I come.

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