So, have you ever wondered if other movies might be part of the Harry Potter universe??? There have been scenes in movies that made no sense. But they would if the characters lived in the wizarding world!
Let's take a look ...
Grease - So, at the end of the movie, Danny and Sandy are in a car that suddenly flies off into space ... as if gravity itself has ceased to exist in a bubble around these 40 year old "teenagers." This makes no sense ...
That car is an enchanted car like the one owned by Mr. Weasley, the Flying Ford Anglia! Let's watch that scene again ... Sandy looks surprised. So I think we can safely assume she's a muggle. But Danny? THINK ABOUT IT. Danny is a hood. He can't understand sports ... can't play baseball, can't play football, generally wants to beat the shit out of anyone in his general vicinity. SLYTHERIN anyone??? Let's not forget about how Sandy's attractive boyfriend "accidentally" trips while running hurdles on the school track. Confundus charm perhaps? Anyhow, so Danny and his friends "fix" his car. Fast forward to the end of the movie, and this former rusted-out piece of shit shoots off into the sky, and Danny looks over his shoulder gives a sly grin. Oh yeah, he knows. All he has to do is avoid the Whomping Willow and he's gonna get laid. Um ... that is what the movies about, right? Getting laid? Wait, was that was just me? Ah-hem ... forgeticus!
The Happening - Okay, first let's all embrace the suck and admit this movie is ... well ... not good. So, if you haven't seen it (good for you!), the concept of this film is that all of a sudden, plants all over the world are starting to defend themselves by randomly releasing an invisible neurotoxin that causes humans who inhale it to violently commit suicide. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel make the nonsensical decision to leave the city (where there would be less plants) and run to the country (where there will be nothing but plants as far as the eye can fucking see.) The premise of this entire movie makes no goddamned sense ...
Unless ...
This movie takes place in the world of "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince." At this point in the timeline, the Death Eaters were wreaking havoc in both the muggle and wizarding worlds. But the muggles would have no idea why these things were happening. Death Eaters are going around randomly causing muggles to throw themselves off buildings or drive their cars into trees. They're a bunch of dicks! This is totally something they would do! By the way, this theory also explains why this is movie is so mindbogglingly boring! We're subconsciously waiting for Voldemort to appear ... but that moment never comes.
(Side Note: I also believe that movie is a dark, depressing statement about how tedious and dismal our muggle lives are ... always reacting to the random things that happen around us while living in a dark, meaningless void and never getting any closure as to why these things are happening. Something to think about ... if my theory is true, this means M. Night Shyamalan is fully aware of the wizarding world. However, since the majority of his movies suck, I assume he's a squib.)
Eraserhead - This movie makes no sense; however, it has nothing to do with the wizarding world. I'm relatively sure this was conceived, written, and filmed all while tripping balls on LSD.
Birdman - DUH! Okay, I don't even have to write a preface for this. It's obvious. An actor, who is mentally ill and haunted by his previous roll as Birdman, hears voices, hallucinates, and is increasingly upset with the failure of his life. He eventually commits suicide by jumping out a window and his daughter is ... happy? Which, come the fuck on, makes no sense!
Birdman is an ex-Death Eater wizard who has exiled himself to the United States to escape Voldemort ... and the pressure of the Dark Lord's return is slowingly driving him mad. Think about it ... Birdman destroys his dressing room with the power of his mind. Birdman shoots himself in the face, and doesn't come close to dying. Still don't believe he's a wizard? At the end of the movie, after shooting himself in the face, he gets out of his hospital bed and flies the fuck away.
(Side Note: Emma Stone is also a witch in this movie. No, there's no proof of it. But I love her and she's cool and would obviously be an awesome witch. Call me, Emma ... let's get some cheese fries and hang out.)
Raven hair and ruby lips
Sparks fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices in the night
She's a restless spirit on an endless flight
Wooo hooo witchy woman
See how high she flies
Woo hoo witchy woman
She got the moon
In her eye
Eagles - Witchy Woman
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