Monday, November 22, 2004

All the leaves are brown ...

And the sky is gray
I've been for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreaming
On such a winter's day

If someone is depressed ... a doctor will give them anti-depressants to make them feel better, right? Well, what if they have a reason to be depressed? What if it's not just an irrational melancholy but a genuine reaction to negative issues or events? What happens then? Do they still give you anti-depressants ... or do you just have to suck it up until things start to turn around?

I've been slipping ... little by little ... into this funk. I guess you'd have to know me to appreciate that this isn't normal. I'm usually one of the happiest and most outgoing people you'd meet. But now ... things are different. It's weird ... I don't want to leave my office ... I don't want to leave my desk ... when I'm home I don't want to go to work ... but when I'm at work I don't want to go home. It's as though it takes too much effort to move.

The weirdest thing, though, is that I don't want to talk to anyone. It's like my brain feels so tired and stressed and spent that it just takes way too much effort to actually open my mouth and have full sentences come out. That sounds nuts, huh? [sigh]

The point of today's post? If this was irrational, I'd have no problems going to the doctor and asking for help. But it's not irrational. There are reasons too many to name why I'm feeling this way. Sure, part of it is the upcoming holiday season but there's a lot more going on ... and it just creates an enormous amount of stress and tension and sadness. So ... what to do?

I guess I'm just like everyone else in the world. I'll just keep hanging in there ... and hope things will get better ...

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