Monday, November 29, 2004

It's easy ... when ...


It's easy to be in love when you've got money. At least, that's the conclusion I've come to during my years of being married and seeing my friends marriages fall apart. Take for example ...

First set of friends --- She came from wealth and he came from poverty. She demanded only the best and he struggled terribly to give it to her. They fought like *cats* and *dogs*. She convinced him to enlist in the military where he got a lot of training. He's now the boss of an important company. And ... can you guess ... they are happy as clams. They travel around the world and she e-mails me from a different state each month. They have the most expensive SUV's and they spent Thanksgiving in a posh hotel in New York City watching the parade from their hotel balcony. Again ... happy as clams.

Second set of friends --- She came from poverty and he came from a stable, middle-class, double-parent home. They loved each other dearly from the moment they met. They each had good jobs with plenty of disposable income. They married and had two wonderful children. They bought a beautiful home in a small country suburb. They were so happy ... until he was in an automobile accident. He spent months in the hospital ... when he went home he still couldn't walk. He couldn't work. They had to declare bankruptcy. They got divorced six months later.

Third set of friends --- She came from a low-income home and he came from a middle-class single parent home. They fell in love immediately. They had a beautiful small wedding. They were by no means rich ... but they went to dinner and movies and had enough to live happily. Then she was diagnosed with a serious illness ... and, naturally, every dime had to go to medical bills. It's a long-term illness so those bills just keep on coming. They struggled for a year or two ... but he asked for a divorce four months ago.

What is the tie that binds? Money! When Couple A didn't have money they fought like cats and dogs but once they became comfortable, suddenly they were Time Life's "Couple of the Year." Couple B and Couple C were similar ... both wonderfully in love until the money dried up and bills piled up. So ... here is my conclusion ...

It's easy to be in love when you've got money. Or, at the very least, it's EASIER. When you start to dread days like valentine's days and birthdays because you know you can't afford to get your loved one anything special, then the normal wear and tear of everyday life is bound to drag you down.

So ... if money problems make valentine's day and birthdays stressful, just imagine what Christmas is like ...