Friday, December 17, 2004

Almost ... done ...

Well, folks, the marathon of stress and tension which is Christmas is almost over. I know, I know ... "Stress and tension? Why, ThirtyWHAT, this is the time to celebrate Christ's birth and soak in the joy and beauty of this holiday season with kith and kin." RIGHT. Okay, now let's talk about what Christmas is like for the other 99% of us ...

The budget, that normally has to stretch to cover monthly bills, now gets to perform an acrobatic feat that would make the U.S. Olympic gymnastics team proud. Sure, there's the presents to pick out and stocking stuffers to buy ... everybody expects that. Oh, but that's not all!

We need wrapping paper, naturally ... and we're going to need bows ... and tissue paper ... and ribbon ... omigod let's get that tape with the purple plaid cover that turns invisible once you put it on the paper!!!

We need lights ... because we forgot that last year in the middle of Christmas dinner, when the entire top portion of the tree just winked out and no amount of shaking or tugging could get it to light back up!

We need cards ... because heaven KNOWS we have to send greetings out to friends and family members that we haven't seen or heard from in years. Be sure to get an extra box! Because you never know when you're going to get a surprise Hallmark greeting from someone YOU didn't send one to ... and you'll have to make up a last-minute emergency card to send back to them!

We need a ham ... wait, why do we need a ham? We have a turkey in the freezer! Your brother doesn't like turkey? What the hell do I CARE if you your brother doesn't like turkey? We've been planning on turkey for a month now! But I have cranberry sauce already bought! He is NOT allergic to turkey ... he just says that when he doesn't want to eat something! Remember when he suddenly became "allergic" to marshmallow fluff last year?!

It's not just the material things ... it's just the tension that comes with the season. Maybe it's pressure from feeling like everyone expects you to be merry? I don't know ... but I can tell you from personal experience that quite a few people in my life are depressed, angry and stressed-out.

But hey, only 8 more days to go ... and I haven't even seen "It's a Wonderful Life" yet!

You see George,
you've really had a wonderful life.
Don't you see what a mistake it would be
to just throw it away?

Clarence the Angel

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