Friday, February 04, 2005

Things that go THUMP in the night ...

Things that go THUMP in the night

1. Have you ever tried meditation? Hmmm ... define meditation. Have I sat in a lotus position and chanted my mantra? No. However, I've tried relaxing and clearing my mind ... and frankly, it makes me want to sleep. Have I ever mentioned how much I like to sleep?

2. Do you pray? Yes ... and I believe in the power of prayer. I'm a non-practicing Catholic and have had the benefit of a religious upbringing. It seems as though just when I start to think that there's nothing out there ... that the universe is a spiritual void ... God steps in and surprises me. He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey, I'm still here."

3. Worst nightmare: Literally or figuratively? Figuratively it would involve being in an abusive relationship again. That whole situation where you're the only one being productive and yet you feel so worthless. That would be my worst nightmare. Literally, my worst nightmare involves the fort in "F Troop" and those cartoon crows "Heckle and Jeckle." Don't ask.

4. Do trolls live under your bed? No, I don't believe they do ... however, there are some large, scary-looking dust bunnies under there that would make Martha Stewart run for the hills. I just leave them alone ... if they don't bother me, then I won't bother them.

5. Make a wish: Honestly and truthfully? I wish I could lose weight. God, isn't that so stupid! I'm a big proponent of "be happy with yourself" ... but in my heart of hearts, I wish I was thin. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, huh?

Well, there's my crappy list at the end of this crappy day at the end of this crappy week. Sorry the questions weren't better ... but hey, I don't write 'em ... I just answer 'em.

Screw it ... let's just call it a day, folks ...

At a moment like this
I can't help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffet do?

Alan Jackson - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

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