So, I'm playing the new Sims 2 expansion, "The Sims University" and, after only two days, I guarantee I'm going to be the first sim in the history of higher education to kill myself. What kind of sadistic, rat bastard invented this thing?
Before you ask, I'm no sim virgin. When the first Sims came out years ago, I was totally addicted. I played it for hours ... built my own custom house ... downloaded all sorts of "add-ons" ... and yes, of course, I installed the nude patch. I've played as a pauper ... and I've played as a millionaire ... a hacked millionaire, granted ... by a millionaire none the less. So I've been around the Maxis block once or twice, if ya know what I mean.
So now, years later ... I'm playing University ... and this is the most frustrating experience I've ever had. I'm working my ass off ... doing assignments ... writing term papers ... showering regularly ... bah! As if that is realistic. Pardon me, Maxis ... when designing the game, did you bother to speak with anyone who's ever been in a college dorm?! It generally stinks like a thousand dirty socks marinating in blue cheese! But no ... not this dorm ... my little sim is showering ... eating ... cleaning after herself ... making the bed (making the bed???)
"So, ThirtyWhat," you ask, "what's so frustrating? Sounds like any other Sims game to me." That's what you're thinking, right?
Well, some rat bastard in my dorm keeps getting the bills out the mailbox and hiding them ... I can't pay the bills because I can't find the bills ... so after studying for hours, the fucking repo man comes and takes my stuff. He took my fucking bunny pennant, for the love of God! Plus, the bastard took my alarm clock ... so I had to buy another or risk oversleeping and missing a class or exam.
And, after all that hard work, I only got a C+ on my semester final. I'm taking a college course right now, people, and this game is more stressful than my real class!
And, as much as I'd like to tell you that I'm going to uninstall it and never play again ... I've now read online that I could pledge to a sorority or join a secret society ... or even (gasp) leave the dorm! Right now my little sim only leaves the dorm to go to class ... and guess what? There's a whole little sim campus world she can visit including the student union, a coffee shop ... and it's rumored that I can buy a cell phone somewhere!
So tonight ... once again ... I'll be sitting over the keyboard ... cussing out the repo man for taking my hanging plant when somebody keeps fucking hiding my bills ... and studying for my sim class ... when I should be studying for my real class.
but most of the things they make it easier to do
don't really need to be done."