Wednesday, March 09, 2005

What kind of sadistic bastard ...

So, I'm playing the new Sims 2 expansion, "The Sims University" and, after only two days, I guarantee I'm going to be the first sim in the history of higher education to kill myself. What kind of sadistic, rat bastard invented this thing?

Before you ask, I'm no sim virgin. When the first Sims came out years ago, I was totally addicted. I played it for hours ... built my own custom house ... downloaded all sorts of "add-ons" ... and yes, of course, I installed the nude patch. I've played as a pauper ... and I've played as a millionaire ... a hacked millionaire, granted ... by a millionaire none the less. So I've been around the Maxis block once or twice, if ya know what I mean.

So now, years later ... I'm playing University ... and this is the most frustrating experience I've ever had. I'm working my ass off ... doing assignments ... writing term papers ... showering regularly ... bah! As if that is realistic. Pardon me, Maxis ... when designing the game, did you bother to speak with anyone who's ever been in a college dorm?! It generally stinks like a thousand dirty socks marinating in blue cheese! But no ... not this dorm ... my little sim is showering ... eating ... cleaning after herself ... making the bed (making the bed???)

"So, ThirtyWhat," you ask, "what's so frustrating? Sounds like any other Sims game to me." That's what you're thinking, right?

Well, some rat bastard in my dorm keeps getting the bills out the mailbox and hiding them ... I can't pay the bills because I can't find the bills ... so after studying for hours, the fucking repo man comes and takes my stuff. He took my fucking bunny pennant, for the love of God! Plus, the bastard took my alarm clock ... so I had to buy another or risk oversleeping and missing a class or exam.

And, after all that hard work, I only got a C+ on my semester final. I'm taking a college course right now, people, and this game is more stressful than my real class!

And, as much as I'd like to tell you that I'm going to uninstall it and never play again ... I've now read online that I could pledge to a sorority or join a secret society ... or even (gasp) leave the dorm! Right now my little sim only leaves the dorm to go to class ... and guess what? There's a whole little sim campus world she can visit including the student union, a coffee shop ... and it's rumored that I can buy a cell phone somewhere!

So tonight ... once again ... I'll be sitting over the keyboard ... cussing out the repo man for taking my hanging plant when somebody keeps fucking hiding my bills ... and studying for my sim class ... when I should be studying for my real class.

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do
don't really need to be done."

Andy Rooney


  1. LOL! I feel your pain! I started off with the regular Sims and all the expansion packs. Then I was addicted to the Sims Online. I purchased the Sims II but I've had a hard time figuring out how to make everyone happy and all that stuff. I can't deal with more than one Sim at a time. Give me a family of 4 and AT LEAST 1 of them will die. LOL
    So, despite the fact that the damn repo man came after your would you rate Sim University overall? Let me know because I'm not sure if I should buy it or not!

  2. Well, if I was typing this a week ago, I would've told you to take your money and spend it on something you'd really enjoy ... like ... chinese buffet ... or a DVD ... or root canal ...

    But after the learning curve kicked in, I had a lot of fun with University. Once I discovered a few key facts (i.e. bills can be found in one of three places ... only ONE of which is the mailbox!) I thought it was a blast.

    Unfortunately, my sim was well into her senior year before I really got into the swing of things. I ended up on academic probation once in my sophomore year ... but by my senior year, I was ace'ing my classes and my sim was a pretty happy camper.

    One warning ... it requires even more micro-managing than standards sims. So if this is something that gets under your skin ... be prepared.

    For instance, in a standard game, your sim needs to go to work, play, eat, socialize and sleep.

    In University, your sim will have to go to class, socialize, do assignments, write a term paper, study character points (mechanical, cooking, etc.), clean, eat, and, on occasion, sleep.

    If you don't get the required personality points, then you can't write your term paper or do your assignments ... if you don't do your assignments or term paper, then you go on academic probation ... if you're on academic probation, you repeat the semester and your sim is depressed and angry. Yeah, that gets real old real fast.

    So, is it worth the money? Yeah ... I think so! It's a blast now that I'm in the swing of things ... in fact, my next sim student will try to get into a sorority ... something my last sim didn't even bother to attempt.

    So, Cara ... have fun ... and let me know if you try University. If you get it, say hi to the "Social Bunny" for me! :)


    P.S. - If you're living in the dorm, those freakin bills can be found either on a small white table back by the study area downstairs ... or on a table in the rec room upstairs. Oh how I hate the repo man ...