Monday, July 11, 2005

A place to rest my ass ...

So, we've finally saved a little money ... and I do mean a little. We talked it over this weekend and decided we desperately need to start working on the house. Not actually the house itself ... we did that a year or so ago.

Backstory: About a year ago, we had the house remodeled and, it's safe to say, the project was an utter disaster. It was a fairly straight-forward job ... a new furnace and central air unit, new windows, new roof, and a new shower unit in the upstairs bathroom. Sounds fairly simple right? Well, no ... not in contractor hell, it isn't.

We went through a state-funded program aimed at homeowners who have bought "historic" homes. Our home is over a hundred years old ... and, what we first thought would be a romantic older home, quickly turned into a money pit. With the help of the "Homeowner Restoration" program, we were able to update a lot of our home's features. Really, we were blessed to have been accepted into it.

Anyway, because our home was so old, naturally it had lead paint. We knew they were going to call in a lead abatement team. What we didn't know was that we would have to move to a hotel for three weeks while they "sanitized" and cleared each room of lead content.

They removed all the old lead water pipes in the house and, wouldn't you know, the plumber tracked black sewer goo all over the carpet on the stairs and the new living room carpet. Would you believe, one of the contractors was indicted for embezzlement? The partner that was left had to hire new workers. What was supposed to take weeks ended up taking months.

Before it was over, the state found the contractors liable for any damage they caused and we ended up getting some new carpet and drapes out of the deal. I suppose I shouldn't complain ... the house looks alright now. But you can't imagine the hell we went through to get to this point.

It's a year later and we're just now starting to get our life back together. We still have work to do ... painting, flooring, etc. But we're actually shopping for furniture and that's a huge step in the right direction.

We went looking this weekend and I'll admit I had a little sticker shock while walking through the store. How the hell can anyone afford new furniture? My only guess is that they're buying a little at a time ... because I guarantee I'd have to sell a kidney to buy an entire room's worth at once ... and as much trouble as I have, nobody would even have my kidneys!

We're looking at this couch. It's amazingly comfy and beautiful ... if a little more than we wanted to spend. Tonight, we're going shopping again to compare deals at a few more stores. The prices are just overwhelming ... it's a little discouraging.

I mean, after all, this is just a place to rest my ass. It doesn't have moving parts and it's not electronic ... and yet we'll be paying more for it than we did our computer.

I guess it's the price we pay for comfort, right? The days of cinder blocks and milk crates are over ... welcome to middle age, ThirtyWhat. Have a seat, you're going to need it.

All I want is a place somewhere
Far away from the cold night air
One great big enormous chair
Oh Ho! Wouldn't that be loverly?

My Fair Lady - Wouldn't It Be Loverly


  1. Idiot's Anonymous9:07 PM

    I'm sorry about your house, but the good thing is, it's liveable.. But a hotel for 3 weeks? That would suck major monkey ass. Especially since it's not for a vacation. I bet it didn't FEEL like a vacation.

    But the couch looks very pretty. And the best part is, your ass will be pretty happy.

  2. The hotel TOTALLY sucked monkey ass! This was in June of 2004 ... and the air conditioner didn't work in the first room we tried. I totally (completely) freaked out. At least they moved us to a different room with a GREAT air conditioner.

    But, anyway, for three whole weeks, the two of us and our two dogs lived out of the Sky Harbor Inn. I had to get rolls of quarters to do laundry in the hotel laundry ... we had no computer ... it was a nightmare.

    We felt awful because the girls kept asking if they could come stay with us on the weekends and hang out by the pool ... yeah, right. Did I mention their inground pool was like a sewer lagoon? From day one, each morning as I walked to the lounge to get Mr. ThirtyWhat his cup of java, the manager would assure me they were going to "open" the pool any day. He told me that every day for three weeks. Hell, I'd bet money it's still not open. I don't see how it's remotely possible. To this day, I'm not convinced there weren't bodies floating under all that smelly green scum.

    But, on a lighter note, I got a call from the furniture store ... they're delivering the couch this Saturday instead of next week like originally planned. YAY! I couldn't be more excited. My ass will be the happiest ass in central Illinois! Of course, this means more work on Friday night ... since we'll need to move furniture around and get everything ready. But that's alright ... because at this moment, all I'm thinking ... is movie night!