Friday, December 30, 2005

Introducing ... ThirtyWhat Theatre

I've never done a movie review before. Not because I haven't got an opinion ... ha! Perish the thought. As (my ex-husband) will tell you, I have plenty of opinions and, unfortunately, I'm not afraid to share them.

No, I haven't written a movie review before because, quite frankly, it's been done. In fact, according to The Movie Review Query Engine, there's over 48,000 movie fanboys and fangirls who would like nothing more than to share their insights with you. So, why should I?

Because damnit, I need someone to vent to and since this is the equivalent of an online diary, I'm afraid you're stuck with the job. So, in the future, if you see ThirtyWhat Theatre in the title of a post, and you're not interesting in reading yet another movie review, my feelings won't be hurt should you decide to take a pass.

Having said that ... take a seat, keep your voice down, please turn off your cell phones, and welcome to ThirtyWhat Theatre!

So, last night I had the pleasure of catching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with our three teenagers. It's the fourth movie in the series about "the boy who lived." And hey, if you're a Harry Potter fan already, this movie is gonna knock your socks off. If you're not a Harry Potter fan ... then really, why would you go anyway?

Now, according to The Movie Review Query Engine there are 173 reviews on the Goblet of Fire. Just glancing down the list of ratings, it looks like most writers found it as entertaining as I did. So, quite frankly, if you want to hear a classic review ... go there.

ThirtyWhat Theatre, on the other hand, is going to point out that there are a couple things that those of us over thirty would find very interesting.

First ... anybody remember Cheap Trick? Live at Budokan? Surrender? I want you to want me?! Sure you do ... and if you don't, you're not over thirty and you won't get this joke anyway. If you do ... then you remember Robin Zander, their lead singer. This, my friends, was Robin in his height of glory.

Now ... why is this relevant? Because of this:

Fred and George Weasley are the offspring of a music legend. I mean, they must be. Look at 'em! First it was eerie ... then it was distracting ... then it was just plain weird.

And speaking of lookalikes ... could it be possible that he ...

... is related to them?

Sure, there's no proof ... but I think Draco has two older brothers that J.K. has neglected to tell us about. On a side note, can someone call Matthew and Gunnar's agent ... there has got to be a part for them in the next movie somewhere.

All in all, it was a great flick. Don't let the Prisoner of Azkaban turn you off of Harry Potter movies. This one is a world apart. No, Daniel Radcliffe still isn't Sidney Poitier yet ... but he's getting better with each scene.

Note to Warner Bros: Speaking of Daniel Radcliffe ... you might want to try to keep the boy dressed in the next movie. I mean, he's only sixteen in real life and only fourteen in the movie ... so an extended scene of him in a bubble bath is just a NAMBLA moment waiting to happen, you know?

Well worth the $6 matinee price, ThirtyWhat Theatre gives Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire an "80's Baby" rating of:

Poison - Four Out of Five Aqua Net Cans

Don't need nothin' but a good time
How can I resist
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time
And it don't get better than this

Posion - Nothin' But a Good Time