Monday, January 02, 2006

My Kingdom For A Pie

Today is day two of my decision to try to eat healthier. I don't know ... I'm conflicted. On one hand, I'm relieved to be changing my outlook towards food because, like everyone else, I'd rather eat to live ... not live to eat. I'm tired all the time and I don't like the way I look ... so taking a few pounds off sure couldn't hurt.

On the other hand, it's so fucking hard to break those old habits. Like right now, I'm sitting on the couch blogging and watching Celebrity Fit Club. I've got a glass of iced tea that I've sweetened with Splenda and so far today we've done really well.

But even though I've done so well, all I want right now is a tube of Ritz crackers and that tub of dip that's sittin in our fridge ... or some fried shrimp ... or chips or something ... anything ... crunchy ... damn!

I guess I've got that whole emotional eating thing. I eat because I enjoy eating ... the whole experience of different tastes. Eating is a comfort. If I'm tired, I want to lay down and snack ... if I'm sad, I want to drown my sorrows in chips ... hell, if I'm happy I want to celebrate by going out to eat. I catch myself sitting at my desk looking for something to eat ... and I'm not hungry. It's just a habit ... a bad, bad habit.

In any case, it's not like my blog will become a calorie log ... but maybe if I write something now and then it'll help keep me motivated.   So, even though the thought of doing this forever is overwhelming ... I can do it today. Tomorrow ... well, tomorrow will just have to take care of itself.

Turn off your mind, relax
and float down stream
It is not dying
It is not dying
Lay down all thought
Surrender to the void
It is shining
It is shining

The Beatles - Tomorrow Never Knows