First, I have to get this off my chest. Ronald McDonald is an evil ass-sucking monkey from hell. Who else but Satan would sell the delicious, heart-attack-inducing temptations that Ronald McDonald offers? Who?
Yeah, it's probably all my fault. Mom asked me to lunch today and I was the one who made the stupid decision to go to McDonalds. Why? Because I like their grilled chicken bacon ranch salads, thought the salad would be a healthy choice, and their service is "relatively" fast.
Was I on crack? Who the hell goes into McDonalds on day three of what is supposed to be a lifestyle change and orders a salad? Who? IDIOTS that's who. I'm sitting there smelling every double cheeseburger, filet o'fish, and chicken nugget in the joint as I choke down what feels like rabbit food.
And the kicker? I come home tonight and enter the information in my new CalorieKing software (which kicks ass by the way) ... and get this ... the salad, dressing, and small soda that I had ordered had more calories than a Big Mac. That's right ... a fucking Big Mac.
Sure, there was less fat ... but not by much. I felt like I was sacrificing and, in reality, Paul Newman was stuffing a stick of butter down my gullet. Bastards!
I'm not quitting ... because I have nothing to quit from. This isn't a resolution, it's just an attempt to eat healthier. However, if I don't have chips soon, I may hurt someone. Just a heads up.
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd
And I'm hungry like the wolf
Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf