Friday, April 14, 2006

Feel Good, Inc.

1. Have you ever ridden a camel? Aw hell, no. I had a bad experience riding on a horse when I was about sixteen. Since then, I've tried to make a point of being no more than a foot or two off the ground. Anymore than that and the fall starts sucking hard.

2. When you are outside, what does the horizon look like? -They say a picture is worth a thousand words ... so here's one I shot last summer.

Notice how it's so ... flat? Well, that's Illinois for you. I don't live somewhere stunningly beautiful ... but, then again, it's not the La Brea Tar Pits either.

3. Who is the last person to leave you a message? - Ugh ... this is so annoying. We keeping getting calls for some guy name Richard. From what I've gathered, Richard used a fake phone number when he opened an account a year or so ago. Now there are pissed off creditors calling for him ... and they won't believe me when I tell him there isn't now, nor has there ever been a Richard living at our house. I've talked to supervisors, threatened to call the Better Business Bureau ... you name it. And when I stopped answering their phone calls? They just started leaving messages. So, if you are that dude and you're reading this, for the love of all that's holy get ahold of your creditors. They're starting to get nasty.

4. How many hours did you sleep last night? - Last night is not a typical example of my normal sleeping habits. I've been having problems sleeping lately ... and last night I probably only got 5 1/2 or 6 hours. Normally thought ... ten hours? eleven? twelve? Left to my own devices, eight hours just aren't enough.

5. Chocolate: take it or leave it? - God, this is so sad to admit ... but aside from just a few days out of the month ... I'd leave it. First off, I'm much more of a salty fan than sweet. And second, given the choice between a Snickers and Shocktarts? I'd pick a roll of Shocktarts any time. Speaking of that ... you wouldn't have some would you? You know the pink and blue ones are my favorite ...

I want candy, bubble gum and taffy
Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart, Sandy
Got my pennies saved so I'm her sugar daddy
I'm her Hugh Cronyn and she's my Jessica Tandy
I want candy!

MC Pee Pants - I want Candy

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