Wednesday, April 12, 2006

It's Just Too Heavy ...

So, I've called off Easter. Of course, not for the entire world ... unfortunately, I don't wield that sort of power. But as far as I'm concerned, Sunday is just another day. For this one year, Sunday's only purpose is to serve as the 24 hours that connect Saturday with Monday. It's just too heavy to bear.

I have no motivation. I can't concentrate. As far as holidays go generally, and Easter specifically, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone. The thought of baking a turkey and doing that whole thing ... well, you might as well tell me to climb a mountain ... because neither one seem remotely feasible.

I know I've disappointed my mom and (my ex-husband)'s mom ... and probably (my ex-husband), if the truth be known ... but I just can't help it. At least our girls already made Easter plans with their mom. I would've hated for them to be broken hearted at the complete lack of Easter rabbits ... or, for that matter, chocolate of any kind. But the truth is, my house is void of decorations, turkey, ham, candy, or plastic green grass.

I just want to sleep. I'm so tired. I have an appointment next week ... maybe something will come of it. So ... just add another layer ... because even though I'm trying to make it better, it's too late to save this holiday.

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough

REM - Losing My Religion