Monday, April 03, 2006

Repent! The End Is Near?

Damn, people ... have you read the news lately? I'm not into conspiracy theories and I don't think the sky is falling. But things are getting crazy. Locally we had yet another tornado touch down in my hometown. Strange considering we hadn't had one in over fifty years and now we've had three touchdowns in the last three weeks. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. What? You want proof?

How about the University of Texas evolutionary ecologist who recently gave a speech at the Texas Academy of Science in which he advocated killing off 90% of the human population in order to save the planet. Reportedly, Dr. Eric R. Pianka suggested that this elimination could be accomplished by the spreading of airborne Ebola and contends the disease is merely an evolutionary step away from escaping the confines of Africa. Should an outbreak occur, Pianka assuredly says humanity will quickly come to a "grinding halt." Not mad enough for you? The audience enthusiastically applauded after his speech.

How about CERN? CERN is the Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire facility which houses over 6,300 scientists working feverishly to bring the next generation in basic particle super-colliders online. The massive Hadron Collider is a also known as the Doomsday Machine. The plan is to create black holes right here on Earth. You know, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. They've even discussed it on PBS.

Just in case you need another example, the Pentagon announced plans to detonate 700 tons of conventional high explosives in Nevada. "I don't want to sound glib here, but it's the first time in Nevada that you'll see a mushroom cloud over Las Vegas since we stopped testing nuclear weapons," James Tegnelia, director of the Pentagon's Defense Threat Reduction Agency, told a small group of reporters. Rep. Shelley Berkley, a Nevada Democrat, said she had numerous concerns over the test. "Given the level of contamination in areas where nuclear tests were conducted, I have real concerns about the dust and other pollutants that will be released into the air as a result of this explosion," Berkley said in a statement.

Scarey stuff? Yes ... but at least I can be comforted that our government officials aren't being glib. Yeah, right.

That's great, it starts with an earthquake,
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane
Lenny Bruce is not afraid.

R.E.M. - It's The End of the World

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